Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT You Never Forget Your First Time
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 6 | Aired on 08.16.1998
Night. Beecher wakes up again, but Keller's still. Beecher hops down and goes to the sink, but before long, his eyes move to the liquor's hiding place. He opens it, winces at the smell, raises it to his lips, and...puts it back. He hops back into bed, and we se Keller's eyes open. Is it wrong that that sequence made me want a drink?
In the gym, Schillinger is chagrined to hear that Beecher didn't drink the moonshine. Keller says he was close, but Schillinger thinks that's not enough, as the beauty of the plan is that they dig up Beecher's issues until he can't live with himself any more, and the alcohol's the key. Keller coolly says that he, in fact, is the key. Well, better him than Michelle Trachtenberg. Keller says that Beecher loves him, and he'll get him to drink. Then, seeing Beecher enter, he shoves Schillinger and yells at him. Schillinger has to glance Beecher's way before catching on, but he yells back, and leaves. Beecher asks what the problem was, and Keller says he doesn't know, but that he hates Schillinger for what he did to Beecher. Keller, you're smooth as McManus's bald head. The boys get ready for Wrestling 2: Electric Pornaloo. They cut away, but straight to Beecher and Keller in the shower, which, coincidentally enough, is where I suspect the entire forum population will be in approximately seven minutes, with the cold water blasting. Keller is saying that he doesn't understand why Beecher's parents have the last word on whether Beecher gets to see his kids. Beecher says that his parents think it might be too soon, and would do more harm than good, but Keller isn't having that, and says that his kids need their father. Beecher appears to mull it over, but I think Keller had him at "hello." Or at "wrestling."
Cut to the playroom, where Beecher's kids are waiting. His son excitedly yells, "Daddy, Daddy!" and we see that a thankfully clean-shaven Beecher is in the doorway. He holds both kids in a tight embrace as they tell him they miss him, and they're really so adorably cute that it's painful to think what's going to happen to them.
Beecher finds Keller in the laundry room. Keller's got the moonshine with him, and is acting about seventeen sheets to the wind, which makes me think he's totally faking, but whatever. Beecher is concerned, and asks what's wrong. Keller says that he's been married to three different women, one of them twice, which Beecher already knows. Beecher asks why he got married so many times, and Keller says he's old-fashioned. "Before I fuck 'em, I marry 'em." Beecher chuckles, wondering if Vera Wang will deliver to Oz. Keller goes on that after a while, the sex stops being good, and then he realizes that he's got nothing in common with them, so he ends it. Beecher says that he and Genevieve had everything in common, until Oz. Well, you both certainly could have used a good stylist, I'll give you that. Keller softly says that Bonnie, the two-time wife, just got remarried. Beecher nods sympathetically. Keller slurs that he shouldn't care, but he's obviously acting like he does. Beecher tells him to come here, and when Keller laughs, Beecher goes over to him, puts his hands on his shoulders, and tells him he loves him. Keller does a great job of looking like that's just what he wanted to hear. Which it is, but you know what I mean. He also does a great job of looking like he's about to puke, but he tells Beecher he loves him too, and they kiss. It's pretty hot, despite the fact that Meloni is threatening to puncture one of Tergesen's cheeks with his nose. I think he was just trying to act drunk. Anyway, a hack notices their mash session, and when he knocks on the window, Keller throws the moonshine jar and shatters it. A couple hacks come in, and Keller takes a swing at them. They take him away. Beecher looks nonplussed, but that's probably because he just kissed a guy.