Episode Report Card Omar G: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Cops + Capes = Crap
By Omar G | Season 8 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.22.2009
Commercials. Most of the cast besides Tom Welling and Kristin Kreuk does a spot for saving energy in front of the stairs of the Talon set. It's cute and short and everybody looks great. They invite you to visit the CW's Free2BeGreen Web site.
The hard, gray, shitty streets of Metropolis. A dark police cruiser rounds a corner where a red miniskirt and thigh-high boots stands next to a big "SALE!" sign. Hey, that looks a bit like Lana. Is this her secret? Clark, riding shotgun, looks grimly out at the dirty, Hellbound city. Danny Boy has an ashtray full of candies. He picks out of its wrapper and eats it. "That's quite a sweet tooth you got there," Clark says. Hey, man. I'm straight. But thanks. Danny says, in much too tough a manner, that his kid got him these candies last Halloween and now he can't stop eating them. "He loves the banana ones, I think root beer is the only one worth the effort. Help yourself." A serious discussion about candy flavors? I think I quite like Danny Boy. Danny asks his new fictional partner "Fordman" (or perhaps he said, "Foreman" but I'd like to think Clark is keeping Jocko Whitney's spirit alive) if he's never been in a squad car before. Clark ad-libs that he's never been in one this nice. Danny gets a chuckle out of that. He thinks Clark has a great sense of humor. Boy, does Clark have him fooled. Danny warns Clark about staying alive long enough to go surfing again. Clark uses that as a cue to inquire about the detective who was recently shot. "What's his name? Jones?" Clark asks. So sneaky! Danny says that a detective getting plugged is just another day in Metropolis. You'd think Clark would have heard about this before, working at the newspaper and all. Clark stares at Danny intensely. Danny looks back. Two hot dudes just driving around in the rain, trying to survive. It's the Gayest Look of the Episode. Clark tries to sound like a cop and fails miserably: "Blood on a badge is blood on a badge, right? No matter what city you're in." Clark watched one episode of Law & Order and suddenly he's Jesse L. Martin.
Danny says that putting a badge on is like wearing a target. He also brings up the "costumed idiots" running around getting in their way and taking all the credit. Ha! "The Green Arrow? Red-Blue Blur?" Danny asks, incredulously. "Great Pumpkin," Clark sputters. Oh, man. Clark really needs to take a few improv classes. Based on some of the exterior shots in this episode, Clark can join the bustling Chicago comedy scene. Clark asks if Danny thinks the costumed dudes cause more harm than good. Danny says that cops have rules and "Capes" don't. Dispatch alerts Danny to a Code 3 in progress. Danny says junkies are hitting the pharmacy again. Maybe they just need condoms. He pulls down his driver's side visor, kisses his fingers and puts his fingers to a very cute photo of himself kissing his wife's cheek. He's wearing a tux. Another photo slides out from behind it and falls. Clark picks it up. It's a sleazy-looking criminal's police mugshot. Danny is not kissing the guy in that photo. Danny grabs the picture out of Clark's hand and says, "Someone I'm lookin' for." Wow. Does your wife know? That's dangerous, you know. Didn't you ever see Looking for Mr. Goodbar? Danny turns on the siren and prepares to show Clark how they roll in the big city.