Episode Report Card Omar G: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Cops + Capes = Crap
By Omar G | Season 8 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.22.2009
Metropolis General. Clark, wearing a suit and striped tie, is inside looking through coroner reports. Lana, wearing a black business suit jacket, has brought two cups of coffee. She says, not in a complaining tone, that this isn't exactly what she had in mind when she suggested coffee after work. Clark lost track of time. Lana isn't mad at all. Clark sounds like he's going to apologize, but Lana says this gives her a chance to see Clark in his new element. [The morgue? - Zach] She likes the suit and tie; she thinks he must be turning lots of heads. And breaking necks, surely. Clark says he's been too busy with work and everything else going on to notice. Did you forget your friend almost died last week, Lana? Lana forgets her playful manner and asks if Clark has any leads on the creature that kidnapped Chloe. He says a night watchman and two ambulance drivers were killed that night. But no one at the wedding itself? Clark promises to find the creature. "I know you will," Lana assures him. Fluffing time: Lana says, "You've become the man I always knew you could be." Damn, girl, calm down. His transformation's not over yet! Lana goes back to being cheerful. She offers to let Clark get back to work. She wants him to buy the next round of coffee. Even though she's probably worth billions. Then she takes all the coffee. Hey, come back with that! Just then, Manhunter is brought in on a stretcher. He's alive, but not in great shape. The doctors try to keep him alive and get the bullet out. "We're losing him... clear!" the doctor says. Clark watches in horror.
Opening credits. Commercials. Axe Body Spray continues to make me feel sexually inadequate. And unsexy-smelling.
Metropolis General Hospital. For when you've had enough of Podunk, small-town bullshit hospitals. Someone takes an oxygen mask off of Martian Manhunter's face and he looks quite dead. The camera loses focus on him and focuses on Clark, standing in the background, behind blinds and a window. Oliver shows up. Clark asks what he's doing there. Ollie says he was out on patrol and heard the call on his scanner. Clark expresses concern about someone operating on Manhunter. "Why, 'cause he's a Martian?" Oliver asks. Yes, but also because he might not be wearing clean underwear. It could have been a very long stakeout. Oliver assures Clark that they're in good hands with Emil. Apparently, Oliver hired his own specialist at the hospital after he was poisoned. He says guys like them could use a doctor like that. You're welcome, Clark. "Since when did Jones become one of us?" Clark says angrily. Hey, buddy, chill. Who put a matchstick up your sandpaper ass? Oliver says that Manhunter has gotten him out of a few scrapes with the police. Clark, really pitching a fit, says he was supposed to meet Manhunter after his shift. He whines that if Jones hadn't given up his abilities to save Clark, the bullet wouldn't have made a scratch. Oliver calls bullshit on Clark's constant moping: "And now you feel guilty, and that's your thing, and I get it -- that's great." Ha! Preach it, white boy. Oliver says that standing here doing nothing isn't going to solve a thing. Oliver acts like he's already bored by this episode. Oh, if he only knew. Clark, still pissed, asks if Oliver knows what their injured friend was up to. He doesn't. Oliver, not wanting to hang around with Gloomy Space Gus a moment longer, says Clark should follow his leads, and he'll follow his own. It's a nice way of saying Oliver would rather be alone than be around Clark's moody ass. "Teamwork's never really been our strong suit," Ollie adds. Wow, even a duck, a turtle and a hamster are smarter than these two. Clark grimaces, then goes back to staring fruitlessly at Martian Manhunter. This hospital is not known for its privacy. Oliver leaves Clark alone.