Episode Report Card Cate: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Bowling For Eric
By Cate | Season 7 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.06.2002
When the scene finally ends, RevCam gathers his loved ones around him and tells them to split into teams for bowling because it will be more "fun." This proposal is greeted with so much eye-rolling that I have to wonder if everyone has suddenly developed identical neurological disorders. When Annie insists that they split into teams, Robbie says, "Fine, but I'm not playing with Kevin." Good heavens, I certainly hope not. This is a G-rated show, after all. Oh, where are my smelling salts? Eric appoints Robbie and Kevin as team captains, then tries to make up the teams himself, telling Lucy to be on Kevin's team. It's just not his lucky day, as Lucy says, "I'm not playing with Kevin either." Looks like Kevin's going to be playing with himself tonight. Eric tries to get Simon to team up with Robbie, but he's not interested. Annie puts on her Cruella persona for a moment, but this time she actually makes me laugh as she hisses, "Simon, you are never gonna leave this bowling alley until you pick a team, put a smile on your face and pretend like you're having a good time. And that goes for everybody." By the time RevCam says, "I'll play with Robbie," I'm practically doubled over with laughter.
RevCam swings a bowling ball dangerously over the twins' heads while solemnly intoning, "Bowlers, take your positions. Let's bowl." They then proceed to wreck the Stray Cats' "Rock This Town" for me forever by using it as background music for the lame-ass bowling montage that follows.
Robbie bowls first and knocks down all the pins. It even looks like Adam LaVorgna may have thrown the ball himself. Simon seems to be doing his own stunts also, as he bowls three gutter balls -- the last of which crosses multiple lanes to land in someone else's gutter. I'm so distracted by Ruthie's tremendously wide, incredibly ugly bell-bottoms that I almost miss how she rolls the ball from between her legs. Ugh, that is so damn annoying. She goes on to do a few more quirky tricks -- like performing the least graceful arabesque I've ever seen and doing some terrible little celebratory dance moves as she walks away from the lane. Isn't that punishable by lifetime imprisonment with no parole? Oh, and SamVid narrowly escape having their heads crushed when they place them on the ball return rack. I didn't even know they were on this outing. I just assumed they were still behind the living room couch.
When all the merriment is over, RevCam slouches dejectedly in a chair by the lanes. It looks like everyone else has bailed on him. Almost everyone, that is. Lucy's still around, unfortunately. When RevCam asks her nicely if she's upset, she answers rudely and stomps off. Big surprise there.