Episode Report Card Cate: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Bowling For Eric
By Cate | Season 7 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.06.2002
RevCam hasn't told Lucy he loves her yet, has he? He checks in on her in her room, where she's still trying to come up with something that qualifies as an accomplishment. RevCam -- sounding a lot like Mike Brady -- tells her, "Sometimes a person can accomplish a great deal, but to the outside world, and maybe even to the person, it doesn't seem like they've accomplished anything." Aw, that's really very sweet -- even if it is complete and utter bullshit. RevCam strains his diplomacy skills even further, claiming that Lucy is "intelligent, kind and sweet." Oh, brother. He continues with, "You'd do anything to help anyone. You're a wonderful daughter and a caring sister. You have principles, and no matter how hard it is for you, you live by them." Do you recognize Lucy in there? Seriously, I mean, like, anywhere? Because I sure don't. And I'm not even trying to be remotely facetious right now. Lucy encourages him to talk to Annie, and he in turn encourages her to talk to Kevin. I don't know what's creepier here -- the fact that Kevin is eavesdropping or the fact that RevCam didn't encourage Lucy to patch things up with Kevin until he noticed the pea-brained moron standing by the door. Or maybe it's that as Lucy says, "I've been acting like a complete jerk," Kevin smiles in his creepy, Promise Keepers way. When he says that he will deign to talk to her, she acts like she's received a rare and precious gift.
After RevCam leaves, Lucy apologizes profusely for her shitty behavior. This gives Kevin the opportunity to skirt the whole "women in my past" matter by telling Lucy that she is the only woman in his future. Okay, but that doesn't solve the whole sexual history/STDs issue, dickhead. Lucy doesn't care, though, since this means she gets to kiss and make up -- and make out. You know, I don't think sticking one's head in the sand really qualifies as an accomplishment, do you? You just know Kevin's going to turn up on America's Most Wanted in a couple years, right?
The twins don't rate nearly as much consideration from RevCam as everyone else has gotten. At least he doesn't lie to them, though. They just receive a goodnight kiss and a hurried, "I love you guys." When they try to initiate a philosophical discussion of the various merits of Superman versus Batman, RevCam just glosses over their comments. Thankfully, SamVid are probably too young to understand that they're receiving the brush-off. Personally, I've always detested Batman ever since I had to play the part in a figure-skating show. Oh, but nobody asked me. Right. RevCam does this cutesy thing with the twins where they count up to three and then blow out the light. Okay, it's actually RevCam turning off the light. Since this is one of very few "cute" things on the show that hasn't made me want to put my eyes out, I won't make fun of it.