Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "When You Wake Up In The Morning, What Do You Hear?"
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 20 | Aired on 03.06.2003
A Charrid officer in some lounge, telling a story about what a frelling "hapooda" this Kalish is. I think that "hapooda" means "trelk" but I'm not sure. Could mean he kisses dudes, except I don't think so, based on a later use. D'Argo walks into the Charrid lounge and immediately calls them stenchy bastards, then stares around for a sec. "The Scarrans have nothing decent to drink, and I won't drink with the Kalish. Got any Raslak?" Start with an insult so they think you're hardcore, then imply that Kalish are hapoodas, and you're in. The officer points to a seat and D'Argo joins them. There's a passed-out Charrid sitting at the table; D'Argo pushes him onto the floor and starts sowing the seeds of racism.
A long-haired Kalish walks with a Charrid into a control room shaped like the inside of the TARDIS with lots of awesome curves and balconies for later. Lots of Kalish standing around, a flight of stairs in the center, PA scratching out Scarran. Sikozu steps out before an older, official-looking Kalish: "Secretary Vakali?" He asks what she's about, given that the area's restricted, and she tells him the Charrids are going to expel the Kalish from Katratzi by force. Vakali asks how she knows this, especially since she's wrong, and she just inclines her head: "Just like you, I am a devoted Kalish." Vakali points out that without the Kalish doing all the administration, the Scarran system of government would collapse, and walks off. She grabs his sleeve: "What if they fear you will take it away from them? Please, Secretary. We need to talk." The younger dude tells Vakali he's "too prominent" to be seen with Sikozu, and offers to talk to her. The Secretary takes off, and Sikozu sighs. How you gonna start a riot if nobody shows up for it?
D'Argo groans and coughs and drinks, sympathizing with the Charrids' treatment by the Scarrans. The officer wipes his mouth with his hand and asks what D'Argo wants. "Me? I've got what I want." They laugh at him: "You enjoy traveling with a group of thieves and a Hynerian slug?" He responds that he's banking, so yeah. The Charrids pay attention, and he indicates his "employer," played by Rygel the Slug. One of them laughs, "What is this? Dinner?" and Rygel looks at them regally. "This is opportunity." Fear and money: Kalish and Charrids. And without them, and the flowers, what are Scarrans? Nothing at all. This is the truth about authority, of course, but also about reliance on subjugate nations: they will go Afghanistan on your ass so fast once there's money and fear in the equation.
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