Episode Report Card Mollie: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Here's To The Ladies Who Lunch
By Mollie | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 02.20.2008
In Paris, Joe and Victory are enjoying a post-sex snack of wine, bread, and cheese. Joe's still talking about his stupid bistro with the delicious vichyssoise (holy crap, did I seriously spell that right on my first try?), and Victory says that they'd better get a move on if they're going to make it back to New York in time for dinner at Nico's. This is where Joe reveals that he has no intention of returning to New York, although of course he's not that straightforward about it. Up to now Victory has been enthralled by Joe's manipulative garbage, but it looks like she's finally had enough. She gathers up her things, trying to look as dignified as possible considering she's wrapped in a bedsheet, and lets Joe know that they'll be heading back to New York without stopping at his little bistro. Of course, that ultimately depends on his summoning his private jet, but still: a victory for Victory at last!
At the Healy residence, Shane and Wendy are getting ready for Nico's dinner party. Wendy is fretting about Maddie. "She's got a test tomorrow. She's studying with Lauren and she's spending the night there," Shane explains, as if having a test somehow makes a school-night sleepover a good idea. Shane and Wendy really are bad parents. Shane further observes that the two Healy women "could use some breathing room," which is a fair point. Then he turns the conversation to Wendy's lipstick stunt at the luncheon. Shane is turned on by this rebellious side of Wendy, so he initiates a little afternoon delight. Isn't it nice to see them getting along? The camera pans down their legs and to the floor, where we see a proof of a book jacket for Our Quality Time by Mariska Havel. The design -- amateur and completely hideous; about the level of quality you might expect from a thesis in urban studies published by a lesser university press with a print run of three hundred copies -- features a very roughly Photoshopped picture of Wendy and her kids that definitely was not intended to be shown this close up. And wasn't this book supposed to be a "novel"? Because the jacket indicates that it's directly about Wendy. Come on, props people. Let's put a little effort in, huh? I'm embarrassed for you.
We get an extra-long look at this horrifyingly poor cover layout because it's our segue to the next scene: Wendy displays the cover at Nico's, saying, "Janice had it delivered to our apartment." Yeah, right after her cat finished designing it. Nico wants some follow-up on the Maddie situation, and Wendy admits that she's not sure what Maddie is really upset about. She's also not sure whether she did, in fact, bring her daughter to the luncheon just for the publicity. Nico's opinion is that it would be totally defensible if she had, under the circumstances. Then Nico mysteriously adds, "I don't think you should worry about Janice Lasher anymore." A doorbell rings, very, very softly, announcing the arrival of Victory and Joe. Joe walks in -- poking at his BlackBerry, of course. He makes it through the introductions smoothly enough, but then pulls Wendy aside to begin his project of alienating everyone in the room. He tells her that the apartment is "about four degrees" too warm, and that there are other requests he must make: "Otherwise I have no shot at being likeable." Too late! Nico isn't put off by this routine, since it so closely matches her own favored way of dealing with people, so she and Joe get along fine. She's not even offended when he asks how long he'll have to stay. When the doorbell rings again (much more loudly this time) and Joe jokes that it's his assistant, come to bring his dinner...well, that joke falls a little flat. The others leave Nico alone to answer the door, which is fortunate, because she opens it to find Kirby standing there with his most heartbroken face on. "What did you say to Patti?" he wants to know. "I worked with her for two years and now she won't even give me a reference!" After shoving Kirby down the stairs and pulling him into a stairwell, Nico promises to fix the situation in the morning. Clueless Charles opens the door to find out whether "Nicki" is okay, but Kirby is hidden from his view, and Nico assures him that everything is fine. Then she insists that Kirby leave -- which he does, but not without shooting her one more look from his Eeyore eyes. Charles lets Nico back inside and buys her story about a messenger coming from the office to get her signature. He seems not to notice when Nico takes his glass of wine and drains it.