Episode Report Card Mollie: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Here's To The Ladies Who Lunch
By Mollie | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 02.20.2008
On a rooftop somewhere in Midtown, Patti Blume (the captions tell me it's "Patti" and not "Patty," although I swear they said otherwise last week) checks the lighting in preparation for the big Prince William shoot. Nico's there, but the prince is not; Kirby comes along and says that the wardrobe people are having trouble with Will's bodyguards. Then Kirby grins at Nico. Patti asks him to fetch a lens. He continues grinning at Nico. My five-year-old nephew could keep a secret better than these guys. Patti finally gets Kirby's attention, and he says he's going to get that lens she wants from the equipment room, putting a lot of emphasis on these last few words, for Nico's benefit. He adds a sidelong glance to make sure Nico got the message. Smooth, guys. Smooth.
Wendy gets off an elevator at Parador with a bunch of people, including her yet-to-be-amusing assistant Josh, who makes a big show of tearing up a copy of "that newspaper" and throwing it in a trash bin. "Thank you, Josh, that was lovely," says Wendy, with something less than real gratitude. As she walks on, she assures Sal, her nattier, more important assistant/underling, that she does not want to talk about the Page Six thing. He's glad, because he has other news: Abby Garcia, a fifteen-year-old actress with a pushy momager, wants to meet with Wendy about doing a movie called Pink Poison. This movie would apparently require its lead to do "a graphic sex scene with her skating coach," and so Wendy -- who, this might be a good time to remind you, is played by Brooke Shields -- intends to hire "someone who's at least old enough to order a beer." Sal thinks that Wendy should consider Abby for the role, because she's a popular ex-Disney Channel star with lots of fans. Wendy indicates a willingness to discuss this with Abby on the phone, but Sal says that she can talk to Abby in person, because they'll be seated at the same table at the Women In Media luncheon. (This event takes place not today, but tomorrow -- they don't ever clarify that, and it's confusing later, so I just thought I'd let you know now.)
Now that she's indoors, Victory finds a place to put down the objects that have reappeared in her hands. Roy gives her his résumé; he is far more prepared than she for this interview. She apologizes, saying that she "had a really long, uh...long night," as she takes off her coat to reveal a very low-cut evening dress. Gosh, where did former assistant Reese ever get the idea that it would be easy to take advantage of Victory? Roy does not comment on Victory's "long night," beyond "I figured" -- he is discreet as an English butler. Well, until Victory opens her little clutch purse and a pair of red panties fall out. (So what is she wearing now? Joe's boxers? Nothing? Why wouldn't she just...oh, never mind.) Then, as Victory scoops them up, Roy remarks, "Those are my father's panties." (Bo-oing!) He means that his family owns a company that manufactures silk goods. Victory wonders why a guy with such connections would come to work for her, and he tells her that he has come to New York to try to "be [his] own person." The phone rings, and Roy asks if he may answer; when he does, he wows Victory with his professional manner. Joe's assistant, Ellen, who's on the other end of the line, is also taken off-guard; she and Roy have a mini-standoff about who puts his or her boss on the line first, which Roy wins. "You're hired," whispers Victory as she takes the phone from him.
Kirby and Nico have made it to the equipment room, and are now tearing each other's clothes off. They have frantic sex that results in Nico's being pressed against a large window overlooking a lobby. She ducks out of sight just in time to avoid being spotted by nemesis Mike. Another page from the How Not To Have An Adulterous Affair field guide.