Episode Report Card Deborah: B+ | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Dance Me Outside
By Deborah | Season 1 | Episode 13 | Aired on 01.15.2004
After the commercial, Will's in the bedroom reading the spa brochure: "'The Dead Sea Mud Wrap: Your body will be gently dry-brushed to eliminate surface toxins and to exfoliate dead skin cells. Then you are wrapped in a warm mixture of mud, essential oils and seaweed.' This sounds like something I would pay to avoid." Helen reassures him, "You don't have to spa." Frink: "Stop using it as a verb!" Will: "But I have to go." Helen gives him a look; he says it wasn't a question, and claims he's looking forward to it. He says he's concerned about being absent from the job right now. Helen asks if he's worried they'll replace him. Will says Roy needs his guidance. Helen, who's busily packing, says, "It's a weekend, Will, and I'm starting to get hurt that you don't value some alone time with me. Right now it's 'hurt' but it's one gripe away from being 'pissed.'" He sinks back on the bed and says he's sorry. She says she really needs it, and the kids want them to be in love again, no matter how much they protest otherwise. Will: "'In love...again'?" Helen: "I mean in an obvious way." Will: "We couldn't be obviously in love at a golf resort?" Me: "Ew." Frink: "How horrid." Helen: "Next time." He asks her to promise he won't have to get wrapped up in anything. Man, I would pay cash money to see him getting a seaweed wrap. Maybe the kids can get him on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Helen embraces him and says, "Nothing you don't like." They make out.
In the kitchen, Luke takes some bacon out of the microwave and says, "I still say what you gain in the convenience factor is lost in the crispiness factor." Joan, evaluating oranges, says, "You realize no one's listening to you?" Luke: "No one ever listens to me...and yet, I talk." Snerk. Joan: "Whatever, Shakespeare. Listen, we need to make a plan." Luke: "I have a plan: tolerate high school. Get into MIT." Joan says they need a plan for the weekend, when their parents are away: "What do kids do when the parentals go away?" Luke: "Stay up late, play video games, leave dishes in the sink...don't worry, I'm all over this." Joan wants him to be more ambitious. I guess all his ambition has been sucked MIT-ward. She tells him she's thinking about a party. Luke: "A party? Like with kids our age?" Joan: "No, like with a bouncy castle. Yes, Dog Boy, a party, with actual people of the opposite sex, like..." She whispers: "Grace Polk." "Bouncy castle"? What? ["You know, like a Jupiter Jump or a Moon Bounce, like we used to go on at the fair when we were kids. I think they still have them at raves. Well, if 'they' still have raves in the first place. Okay, I'll shut up now." -- Sars] Luke replies, "I admit I'm intrigued, but...who'd come?" Joan: "I don't know. Don't these things just kind of happen? All I need you to do is take care of the music." Luke asks if their parents approved this. Joan says nothing. Luke: "Of course not; it's clandestine. Well, what about Kevin? Isn't he supposed to be in charge?" Joan says that on Saturday nights Kevin plays basketball and then goes out afterward with his teammates. That got established quickly. She says they'll kick everyone out before midnight, when Kevin gets home. Yeah, that'll happen. Luke asks about refreshments. Joan: "Huge bag of chips. Beverages, I need to think about." Kevin wheels in and says, "Hey! Do I detect bacon?" Luke says, "Uh, yeah, sure...it's yours." Kevin studies his siblings' faces and asks, "What's up?" Joan: "Nothing." Luke claims they were discussing chemistry. Kevin: "Forget it." Joan: "What?" Kevin says they're not having a party. Joan laughs a really fake laugh and says that's a good one. Kevin: "You think I haven't been your age?" Joan: "Kevin, look at us. Rocket Boy and the subdefective. Like we even have anyone to invite." Kevin nods and says, "That's true. I'm reassured." Kevin wheels off, and Luke says, "Well, hey, it's not that unthinkable." Joan puts her hand over his mouth.