Episode Report Card M. Giant: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Mailer than Thou
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.25.2004
Lorelai brings one of Kirk's flyers into the Dragonfly's bustling kitchen, asking Sookie, "What was the first thing we agreed on when we opened the inn?" I don't know, I missed that episode. Keep Kirk away from the business? Lorelai answers her own question: "Keep Kirk away from the business." Hey, I was right! Lorelai tells Sookie about Kirk and Luke and the flyers and the Hot Dog God outfit. Sookie claims she didn't ask Kirk to dress up like a hot dog, and she wonders why he did it. "Because it's Kirk, Sookie," Lorelai explains. "The giant hot dog suit was a given the moment you talked to Kirk." That's fair. Lorelai wants to know why Kirk was called in to drum up lunch business when there's no lunch to serve, reminding Sookie that they all agreed to put lunch on hold. Sookie denies it,but Lorelai pushes it. She finally notices the huge amounts of food and staff people in the kitchen, all going toward the Herculean effort of keeping Norman Mailer supplied with iced tea, and she puts her foot down. And Sookie gets ugly. "Fine, there's no lunch," she bitches.
Sookie storms out to the dining room, descending on Norman Mailer and his little party of two in a righteous rage. "You happy, Norman Mailer, huh? Lunch has been cancelled." She takes away their iced tea, stopping short of dumping it in his lap. Tom Robbins would have let her dump iced tea in his lap, I'll bet. She compares Mailer's behavior to her coming into a bookstore and reading his books without buying them. Although I think if you hang out in a bookstore long enough to read something by Norman Mailer, you're going to end up paying rent. Sookie picks up a book and flips through it disdainfully: "Ooh, yeah, someone sure likes to use his big words." Lorelai swoops in, trying to smooth things over by taking away the book and herding Sookie back to the kitchen. "What?" Sookie says in disbelief, pointing at the book. "What? Yeah, write that down." Hee. Mailer hasn't said a word, by the way.
Back in the kitchen, Sookie loudly blames Mailer for the cancellation of lunch. Lorelai asks her why she's being so nutty over lunch. No kidding. Is she really so averse to going home for a few hours during the day and, I don't know, seeing her baby or something? If someone offered me the middle of the day off I'd be all over it. Sookie confesses that she doesn't know why she's being so crazy. She knows it's just temporary and it's not Norman Mailer's fault, and she tries to calm down and it just makes her more upset and -- "Oh, my God, I'm pregnant." Again? Already? If she loses as much weight as she did during her last pregnancy she's going to end up as thin as Lorelai. Lorelai gasps and hugs her. Sookie, her mood having just pulled a total one-eighty, runs out to the dining room and yells, "Norman Mailer, I'm pregnant!" Apparently this show was titled by the same people who come up with titles for episodes of The Amazing Race. The author congratulates her and halfheartedly returns her hug. Sookie runs back into the kitchen, clapping her hands happily. Man, what the hell was Mailer thinking? How many offers does he get to be on TV, and he picks the one where he's a human pregnancy test for a secondary character on The WB? And people thought Harlot's Ghost was embarrassing.