Episode Report Card Joe R: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Two Mrs. Scottsons
By Joe R | Season 3 | Episode 8 | Aired on 09.30.2007
Celia stares at herself naked in the mirror. She stares at her scarred, reconstructed breasts, one of which is decidedly larger than the other. She stares at these new, imperfect breasts, which are themselves replacements for her old imperfect breasts which almost killed her. She doesn't quite recognize these new breasts, and maybe she doesn't trust them, but damned if she isn't going to force herself to face them head-on. Now replace the word "breasts" with "man" and you'll see how she feels about Sullivan.
Isabelle and Shane lie on the ground, probably stoned but it's not like they're staring at their own hands or anything. Shane thanks Isabelle: "That was my first boob." Ha! Oh my God, these two. "Do you want to touch my..." Shane offers, but Isabelle isn't really into penises. "Why haven't we ever hung out before?" she asks. Because the world wasn't ready for it? Shane offers that maybe it's because his mom hates her mom. "I think my mom is secretly in love with your mom," Isabelle says, once again the most perceptive person on this whole show. Shane admits he thinks his dad loved him more than his mom does. Isabelle says her mom's a bitch...but she misses her. Shane asks if they're stoned, and Isabelle guesses so. Shane: "I don't see what the big deal is." Isabelle: "Yeah. I prefer beer." Shane: "I prefer touching your boob." Isabelle: "Huh." Best scene ever, for real.
Heylia's in her office, reading in the paper about how Peter's murder is being linked with dead ol' U-Turn. She gets on the phone, calls up Nancy, and asks -- all forcibly pleasant -- if she'd like to make a buy.
Porno set. Andy's in a Phantom of the Opera mask, foot-fucking to his heart's content, as the director boredly calls "cut." He's like, "Great job, Andy. Thank your foot for me." Andy's upset that this is seemingly all he gets and now he's being shoved back into the kitchen. He goes off on an extended rant about how he used to see porn as a beautiful and noble thing, but now he sees it as a mere flesh factory that "exploits, dehumanizes, and degrades men." Hee hee. Okay, maybe the farting porn stars last week were worth it.
Silas, with Tara, stops by Heylia's to make the buy for Nancy, passing himself off as "Judah" and Tara as "Sunshine." Heylia's all, "Whatever, take your fountain, too." It seems the cover business here is selling these decorative fountains shaped like houses. ...I don't know. Heylia exposits for us that Nancy's paying with a check made out by the "City of Agrestic" (thanks, Doug!) and that if it bounces, Nancy's ass will once again be grass.