Episode Report Card Demian: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Mata Whori
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 13 | Aired on 01.24.2004
Bondage A Go-Go. Raige and Piper roam through the hallways, completely lost, until they realize they've been going around in circles. Raige sighs and suggests they just orb back to the Manor already. "Why are you in such a rush to go home all of a sudden?" Piper smirks. "It's [Buttfuck]," Raige admits a bit impatiently. "Anytime he's alone for too long, bad things start to happen." Which is why you abandoned him in the attic with all of your potions and the Book of Shadows, right? Stupid show. A legion of bondage queens prances into the general area, so Raige and Piper duck into another alcove to spy on the column of clones as it passes by. "Should we follow them?" Raige asks, unsure of herself. Piper shrugs her assent. The gals head into the main hallway, only to be surprised by another parade of clones. Piper deploys her Hands, destroying all eight or nine of them in one go. The screams of the vanquished escort us…
…back up to the Manor, where Slampiece Buttfuck has found the Aura Cleanse in the Book of Shadows. He copies it onto a sheet of notebook paper and silently musters his courage with a few deep breaths. He then gathers a pinch of salt from a handy urn, which he sprinkles onto the carpet at the center of an array of blue candles arranged on stands in the form of a pentacle. Inhaling deeply once more, he composes himself before reciting the following:
I call to thee, pure witch's fire --
Through vortex flow the heavenly mire:
Cleanse brackish karma of debris,
From dark to light, sweep history.
The five candles spew gouts of flame three feet into the air as the shot abruptly cuts to a view of the earth from outer space. White wisps of the cosmic order with which Buttfuck's heedlessly screwing erupt from various locations around the world and writhe around the planet before diving down towards the West Coast, which shoots towards the camera in what has to be the best effects shot this show has ever seen. As the camera flies down towards the Bay Area, the Presidio looms into view at the top of the screen. The karmic wisps shoot straight down to the Manor -- which for the purposes of this sequence rests on a block of Washington Street between Walnut and Presidio -- and the camera cuts at the last second to an overhead of Buttfuck gaping up at the rapidly approaching swirl. The karmic plasma corkscrews down to his head, then widens to form a rapidly spinning, ethereal sphere around his body while the pentacle of candles flames higher.