Episode Report Card Pamie: B- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Stars Hollow's First Annual Skank-Off
By Pamie | Season 5 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.24.2005
Re-enactment. About five people have come to watch. The reverend cracks dumb jokes. For some reason, children (so we know what's happened to that kid from Life With Bonnie) have been asked to tell the tale of Stars Hollow's second-most famous slut (hard to dethrone Rory). But -- HILARITY! -- when Taylor rides his horse to his mark, it isn't Lulu who meets him in the middle of the street. It's Kirk. Lulu's sick, and Kirk didn't want to let anyone down. Kid delivers the dumb line, "That's the ugliest lady I've ever seen." Enjoy your SAG card, kid. Taylor is humiliated, screeching to Kirk that he is humiliating him and he's livid, and this is the worst thing he's ever done. Kirk gets in the great line: "We're not supposed to be arguing, Taylor. We're supposed to be making love!" They head into the...high school? I don't know where they're supposed to be going, but I think it's the high school. We hear the story of Stars Hollow's Slut one more time. Lorelai leaves to go back to the inn.
Emily enters the poolhouse. Richard tells her that someone came for Dog, who is now a she again. Someone found the owner who came to pick the dog up last night. When Richard didn't see a light on in Emily's house, he didn't want to call and disturb her. She says she wouldn't have been disturbed. I had a dog given away while I was in the house, and the trauma of never saying goodbye to that Bassett haunts me to this day. Don't do this to people, I beg of you. It sucks to lose a dog. Emily and Richard talk about how irresponsible it was of that owner. "Her name was Princess, by the way," Richard tells her. Emily and Richard have a moment before they go back to their lives.
Amazing. Lorelai is calling someone who drives a plow. Oh, she's telling him how to do his job. Yeah, okay, all is normal. Lorelai tells us all again about the snow and the coffee and plows, but I'm distracted watching lint form on the underside of the couch. Anyway, Lorelai gets off the phone because there's an ice rink in front of her house. Luke has made her an ice rink, which he claims is no big deal. Lorelai says it's a very big deal, and immediately sets to putting on the ice skates Luke has brought for her. No hug, no kiss, no thank you, just me-me-me- gimme-me-me- faster-now. Luke says that this is how he broke his nose "the first time" -- skating into a tree when his dad did this for him when he was a kid in a hockey phase. He tells Lorelai he felt bad that she was having a rough time with snow, and that he wasn't making it any better by being grumpy, so he thought he'd help her out by pushing her and snow back together again: "I'm grumpy about stuff, but I don't want you to be." He helps her up. Lorelai giggles and thanks him for reconciling her and snow. Luke changes the mood: "You were lying this morning. You said you were fine, but you didn't look it. You get sick or something last night?" LoreLIE says she just had a headache, and that she still does. See, when Luke leaned over to kiss Lorelai when he walked into the diner this morning, I know he smelled the tequila steaming out of her pores. And the town's only so big, so news of Straub's death probably traveled, and...dude, how does LoreLIE think she'll keep this from Luke? LoreLIE skates a shaky circle, and somehow she doesn't know how to skate at all, which is hard to believe, what with her hearting snow and all. The episode ends before the Burbank sun melts the ice rink.