Episode Report Card Niki: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Experience Is The Teacher
By Niki | Season 3 | Episode 17 | Aired on 03.31.2002
Cut to Creepitri entering his classroom. Wearily, he pulls the door closed after him. He spots Grace waiting for him by the window and wordlessly pushes the door open again. She says she was hoping they could talk. She quickly adds, "About my story. I'm having trouble figuring out how to end it." He plunks his satchel on his desk and, with a warning edge in his voice, says, "Not. Right. Now. Grace." She bounces from one foot to the other and chews her lip. A few seconds pass before she asks, in a roundabout way, why he wasn't in class. He snarks, "Yeah, I wasn't able to attend class today due to being interrogated by Mr. Brooker." "You're kidding," she murmurs. He goes on as if she never spoke, "And Mrs. Conway, head of the school board." Grace petulantly points out that they didn't do anything. Is she really this naïve? Incredulous, she asks if he's really in trouble. He stares at her as if she's from another planet and says he could lose his job and possibly never get hired to teach anywhere again. Grace just stares at him, unable to comprehend how all this trouble started over "nothing." Creepitri closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and says he thinks it would be best if they didn't speak outside of class anymore. He grabs his bag and turns for the door. Grace starts to protest and goes after him, but he stops short to bark, "No!" He heaves a sigh and then marches out of the room. As if he hasn't done anything to get himself here.
"I can't believe that woman called you!" Lily shrills. Jake fumes that he can't believe Lily didn't tell him about it herself. They're in the middle of the radio station, but the surroundings aren't enough for Jake to keep his voice down. Lily mutters that she didn't know for sure what was going on. "Oh, you want to know what's going on? I'll tell you what's going on! That teacher is a dead man! That's what's going on." Lily pleads with Jake to calm down, as her co-workers eavesdrop and snicker. Jake rages on, "And after I kill him, I want him fired! Permanently! In that order: fired, and then dead!" Lily shushes him and shepherds him out of the office. Roused by all the yelling, the Curmudgeon lumbers to his office door and watches curiously as Jake storms out. Lily apologizes to the Curmudgeon, then throws her arms open, saying, "You see?" He says he didn't say anything. Frazzled, she lays it out for him: "See, this is the problem: I have two kids; two stepkids; I have a marginally employed husband, and a rage-aholic ex-husband, and a job I barely know how to do." The Curmudgeon is unflappable. He says he knows, and that it's exactly the sort of thing she should tell the syndication people on Friday, because it's exactly what they're looking for. Lily's eyes well up. "Listen to me, I can't do it anymore!" she cries. The Curmudgeon tilts his head like a puzzled dog. Lily says she can't do it, she's not ready, she just can't meet with those people. It's a much longer tirade, but I'm too lazy to transcribe it. At the end of the rant, Les says, "Fine." He backs into his office and closes the door. I love that man.