Episode Report Card Niki: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Experience Is The Teacher
By Niki | Season 3 | Episode 17 | Aired on 03.31.2002
Cut to Rick and Lily in their bedroom, putting fresh sheets on their bed. Rick's all, hold up a minute: he took her to the movies? Lily, unconcerned, assures him that other kids were supposed to be there. She admits that Grace probably has "a little crush" on her teacher and purrs, "I mean, look at him!" I have. I don't see it. Rick asks what she's going to tell Jake. Why, she's not planning to tell Jake anything. Rick says that if it were Jessie, he'd want to know. Those sound like famous last words, don't they? Anyway, Lily says she doesn't think she should say anything to Jake, since she doesn't even know what to tell him. As far as she knows, nothing has happened apart from a "vicious" rumor started by a "malicious" girl. Rick just looks at her. "What?" Lily demands. He starts to say something but stops himself, saying he's sure everything is fine. He clicks off the lamp and starts pulling up the blanket. "So, wait a minute. You're saying you think it might be true?" Lily asks incredulously. Silence. She tells him to answer her. Rick makes a thoughtful face and asks, "What movie?" His question troubles Lily, who frowns and fidgets.
The next day at school, Grace barrels around the corner, carefree and eager to see Creepitri. It soon becomes apparent that she's either entered the Twilight Zone, or that everyone is talking about her and staring. Not seeing any sign of Rod Serling, she starts to suspect the latter. She spots Creepitri standing at the end of the hallway, hands shoved in his pockets. Would it kill him to tuck in his shirt? He looks toward her, and she quickens her stride, her mouth open as if she's got something to tell him. Pointedly, he turns his back to her. She stops dead. The vice-principal approaches him and asks that he follow her into her office. Grace watches, crestfallen.
When we return from commercials, Lily and Judy are having coffee at Booklovers; Judy is trying, I think, to make Lily feel better. Judy jokes that this student-teacher thing means Grace probably isn't a lesbian. Lily chides her, and Judy realizes that the comment was in really poor taste. Lily tries to make her see the gravity of the situation, working herself up over the thought of Creepitri taking advantage of his authority in order to seduce Grace. Jake wanders over to their table, and Lily wipes the horrified look off her face. She tries hard to put a smile in its place and act as if he hasn't just interrupted a conversation about some old pervert taking advantage of their baby. She tells him that everything is "great," and asks about Maddie. He says that everyone is fine, stands there awkwardly for a few seconds, and then asks if they need anything. Yeah, for you to take a powder. As he walks away, his expression makes it clear that he thinks they're insane. Judy is incredulous that Lily isn't going to tell Jake. Lily's all, okay smart-ass, what do I tell him? Judy relents and says she sees Lily's point. Lily tries to convince Judy and herself that there may not be any cause for concern: maybe nothing happened and Creepitri really is just a mentor who takes Grace to Japanese movies. Lily forces a chuckle, but it's not even halfway out before she's all intense and wound up again. She says she can't tell Grace that she doesn't believe her, even though part of her doesn't. For some reason, Judy thinks now is the perfect time to tell Lily about the affair she had with her Art professor in her freshman year of college. Lily's not surprised: "After all, he was one of the men there." Ha! Judy pays no heed to Lily's exasperation, but just drones on about the guy and his obsession with Georgia O'Keeffe. Oh, that's not too obvious. Lily hisses, "Don't tell me this!" Judy just smiles sweetly and continues turning the knife, oblivious to Lily's torture. Payback? Or just more evidence that Sam Blue causes brain damage? She blathers that the prof "came along at a moment in [her] life when [she] really just needed a man to fall in love with [her]." And that moment differed from every other moment of her life because...? Wistfully, Judy says she'll always be grateful to him. Lily's had enough of the touchy-feely-feel-good hour and snaps, "Well, I'm sorry, but it's just wrong!" She's damn adamant about it, too. She grits that, no matter what, a teacher should never get involved with a student. Okay, so there's one take on the whole thing. Again, I experience the strange sensation of backing Lily. Judy says it may have been wrong, but she'll never be sorry it happened. Okay, Judy? You are so not helping here.