Untitled


Episode Report Card Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Crystal Clear

By Sara M | Season 17 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.23.2008

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More of the same this week. Trouble is brewing at Kota, as Dan eats more than his fair share and everyone else is getting sick of it. But since they win both challenges again, it doesn't really matter. Plus, they catch a turtle and eat it for extra protein. Fang loses the reward challenge badly and Crystal continues to make all Olympians look bad by having to drop out of a challenge involving running and carrying a heavy weight. She cries at the loss, prompting Randy to make fun of her, which really pisses her off.

And at the immunity challenge, Fang is actually ahead of Kota and about to win it when Ace commandeers the flag pole building puzzle and totally sucks at it while Kota works together to assemble their pole and win again. Now Fang has to figure out who to kick out. Matty has made a stupid deal with Ace that he doesn't want to break, so he won't vote for Sugar like his other alliance wants. Sugar, by the way, completely loses her mind and gives the idol to Ace until Ken knocks some sense into her and she gets it back. Not like it matters, since she's determined not to use it. At Tribal Council, Kelly is her usual unpleasant self, calling Crystal out for looking "unstable" by crying in front of the other tribe. A furious Crystal votes for Kelly while flipping her off. The rest of the tribe does the same.

Come back on Wednesday for the full recap, but browse pictures of the cast until then.

Want more? The full recap starts right below!

Probst chooses to recap the entire season thus far on the previously segment, which I hate. He also heavily favors Kota as usual, which I hate even more. At least this week he actually admits that Fang won two challenges. One clip they used to illustrate Fang's suckitude was when Ace missed his team's ball last week, which actually helped them, so it's clear that the editors and producers and Probst are simply watching a different show than I am. I do like Matty's never-before-seen comment that Fang is "the goof troop."

Fang returns to camp from Tribal Council. No one seems especially upset to lose GC. In fact, they're in positively high spirits about it. Ace tells us that "GC had to go," as if he pulled off some sort of big-time strategic move when really, GC just quit. It had nothing to do with Ace at all, unless GC's reason for quitting was that he couldn't stand to listen to that fake accent anymore. Ace continues that he's got Sugar in his pocket, which he's really fond of saying, and now he's looking for a member of Fang to make a deal with to save his ass until the merge.

It's the next morning, and Kelly didn't sleep well. The show included her saying this just to show us that Kelly can't do anything well, ever. Matty suddenly has all kinds of feelings for his girlfriend, and he says she's his "driving force" for being out here. Yeah, that's probably because she's the person who cast him on the show. He wants to see this game through to the end, but he knows that being on this tribe isn't going to make that easy. So he tells us that if someone were to approach him with a good plan, he'd "for sure" jump on board. Why does someone else have to have the plan, Matty? Can't you think of something?

Matty and Ace go off together. Ace puts on his "woe is me" act, saying he doesn't want to be blindsided when he's sure the old Fang will eventually vote him out. Somehow, this turns into a deal where Matty won't vote against either Ace or Sugar until the merge and Ace won't vote against Matty or Ken, as if Ace's vote even matters. Matty swears on his girlfriend's life, while Ace swears on his mother's. Swearing on people's lives is so stupid and immature, but whatever. I have a feeling Matty isn't very smart. He just made a deal with a guy who has everything to lose while he has nothing to lose. Why? And he'll probably stick to it, while we all know Ace won't. For as little as Matty seems to think of his tribe mates, he's probably the dumbest one there.

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