Episode Report Card Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Crystal Clear
By Sara M | Season 17 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.23.2008
Kota returns to camp. Marcus tells us that he's thrilled to be on a "strong and unified" team that works so well together. I don't think it's so much that Kota is a great team as Fang is starving to death and has no morale, thanks to Probst. Now it's time to divvy up the food, and it's going to be an annoyingly complicated process thanks to Greedy Dan's presence. Corinne tells us that it's all Dan's fault that they have to carefully ration out the food. Dan, it seems, wants to eat the reward in addition to supper, while Charlie thinks it should be a meal substitute, as that will help preserve their supply. The rest of the tribe seems to agree. "I don't want to be hungry come midnight," Dan whines. Really? Then why did you agree to go on a game show where you're starving and stuff? Idiot. Randy tells us that Dan has managed to annoy everyone on Kota, even Randy "a little bit," as if that's difficult. Puppies and children with terminal cancer annoy Randy. Randy thinks he should "slowly distance" himself from Dan in order to win the original Kota members over. This must be quite the change for Randy, as he's usually the person everyone else is trying to get themselves away from. Dan tells Randy the pastries are delicious, but after just one bite he only has one and half of his share left. "It's a reward. There's no rationing," Randy says, thinking he's stirring the pot. So now he's alienating his ex-Fang tribe mates from the old Kota as well as alienating himself from new and old Fang. That doesn't seem like a good plan.
Sugar's back on Exile "Island." She cries for her teammates, since she gets fruit and a hammock while they have nothing. She says she gave Ace the idol "in case he needs it before Tribal." What is she thinking? Why would Ace need the idol BEFORE Tribal? Does she understand the rules of this show?
Back at Fang, Matty's taking up a leadership position, saying they should work today to fill up canteens because he thinks it'll be really hot tomorrow. "I don't know why you're stressing over it," Crystal says. Um ... because your tribe sucks and maybe a proactive approach will actually help you? At this point, it can't hurt. I wonder if she told her Olympic coach to stop stressing when he told her to train and stuff. Assuming, that is, that she was actually in the Olympics or has even run at any point in her life, which I'm really starting to doubt. Kelly tells us that losing the challenge sucked because they really needed food. She also takes issue with Crystal crying in front of the other tribe, saying that it, like most things Crystal, "was huge." Kelly says Crystal's personality "sucks." Unlike Kelly's, I'm sure. She takes a walk with Ace, who says that it looks like Crystal is going the same way as GC. Um, no. You see, Crystal cried because she was upset to lose the challenge. GC didn't care enough about winning or losing to even fully participate. Big difference. "Like, seriously though. It just, like, sucks, it's like a damper on the team, like you don't need to cry, right?" says the eloquent and articulate Kelly. Ace says that when Sugar cries, it's "emotional," whereas when Crystal cries, it's because she's losing it. I don't know; she seems pretty with it and determined now.