Episode Report Card Demian: B- | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Exit Strategery
By Demian | Season 3 | Episode 20 | Aired on 2001.05.03
Cut to Ye Olde Wiccan Gift Shoppe. Cole squiggles in, to the distress of the bleach blonde therein. He tells her to calm down and remove the amulet she’s wearing. She refuses, noting that she’s been “sworn to protect it.” Cole advances on her, urging her in a threatening tone of voice not to fight him. He reaches out to grab the necklace, which flares up blue and shoots a ray into his body. Cole’s hurled backwards into some of the Wiccan merchandise. He collects himself and rises to his feet as the blonde notes, “You can’t take it from me.” “Maybe I can’t,” Cole agrees. He then morphs up into Belthazor and adds, “But I can.” Belthazor approaches the blonde, who raises her hand to the amulet. The amulet shoots out some sort of low-tech shimmery blue energy shield in front of the blonde. Belthazor reaches through the shield and rips the necklace away from her. The shield disappears. The demon grabs the blonde by the throat, but then thinks the better of throttling her with one hand. He releases her with a warning to tell no one about his visit -- not even her Whitelighter. Belthazor squiggles out, leaving the blonde to pant and massage her neck.
Over at the passport agency, which we know is the passport agency because of the large sign that screams “PASSPORT AGENCY” above a row of government functionaries, Piper and the Dolt impatiently wait on line to submit his fraudulent application. Well, Piper waits impatiently. The Dolt busies himself completing the form. He wonders aloud if he should write in “Whitelighter” as his occupation, or if “Guardian Angel” would be more accurate. Upon hearing this, the matronly battleaxe waiting in front of them turns to glare. Mind your own business, matronly battleaxe. Back and forth bickering between Piper and the Dolt. He thinks it’s “wrong” of them to be applying for a passport for a corpse. She just wants to have “a normal life,” and will do anything to get one. I wanted this argument and all of its many tedious variations to end nineteen episodes ago. Find something new to fight about, or shut the hell up. Piper reminds the Dolt that their intended crime in this case is victimless, and orders him to roll his objections up real tight and cram them, as it’s all giving her a migraine. The line moves forward a bit, which momentarily placates the harridan wedded to the corpse. Just then, The Powers That Be ring the Dolt’s bell. “Uh oh,” he warily intones. Piper loses it. She bitches that under no circumstances is the Dolt to leave the passport office. He has to, he pleads. No, he doesn’t, she insists, reminding him they’ve been waiting on line “for two and a half freaking hours.” To emphasize this point, she gesticulates forcefully at the clock on the wall. The clock explodes, showering the waiting area with shards of plastic and glass. Piper glances around nervously as she draws her hand back to her body. “Um, uh oh.” Snerk.