Episode Report Card Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Making money hand over fisticuffs
By Miss Alli | Season 6 | Episode 20 | Aired on 04.22.2003
A book-to-book cut shows us that Little David is working the helpline next to a guy reading a book called Authentic Happiness. Man, I could use a little Authentic Happiness to get me through this show. Little David looks up, surprised to see Jack standing in the door. He hustles the helpline person off the phone, which seems like perhaps not the best display of priorities I've ever seen, but we'll let it slide. "Rough day?" Jack asks. "Yeah, exams bring out the worst in people," Little David snots, because he has been wronged and has not forgotten it. Jack tries to make conversation, but Tiny Gay Snotting David is having none of it. "Did you need something?" he snaps. Jack observes that Little David is still mad, and David comes back with an even snottier, "Speak quickly, Jack." He goes on to blow off Jack as a "feckless ex-boyfriend" whose presence is uninteresting to him as compared to the problems of the people on the helpline. First of all, I think the writers are working without their dictionaries again, because "feckless" means "weak and ineffective," and I don't think that's what Little David really means. Second of all, this is only one of many times on this show where a character would be well served by telling someone who's acting like an asshole to just shove off instead of trying to suck up to them, but Jack takes the suck-up route, as have so many of his friends throughout history.
He begs Little David to just talk to him. "Meet with me," he pleads. I'm sorry, "meet with me"? What is this, the Chamber of Commerce? Are we arranging a welcome breakfast for a visiting head of state? On what planet do you try to heal a breakup with the phrase "meet with me"? Oh, right. The planet of I, Kerr Smith, Do Not Want To Make My Romantic Storylines Seem Too Romantic, Lest I Explode In A Little Purple Puff Of Gay. Little David, swept away by the romance of "meet with me," comes out with a cold "maybe." What a little prick. Despite this, Jack grins as if tickled at being given this tiny opportunity to redeem himself for having done absolutely nothing wrong. Jack says that if Little David wants to meet, he can just come to Hell's Kitchen tonight, where Jack will be. Little David can't tonight, so Jack suggests tomorrow, after eight. Little David gives a tentative grin indicating that perhaps he will forgive Jack for doing absolutely nothing wrong, and tells Jack he works until nine. Blah blah blah tentative possible reconciliation, Jack leaves happy, and Kerr leaves happy because he didn't have to kiss anyone.