Episode Report Card Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Making money hand over fisticuffs
By Miss Alli | Season 6 | Episode 20 | Aired on 04.22.2003
In a cavernous Worthington Classroom Of Solitude, Eddie and Joey appear to be the only people interested in preparing for their final. He offers her more coffee, and she suggests that they're overcaffeinated as it is. He gives her a smooch, and she complains that the Eddie-lovin' was how her "academic downfall" came about last time. In storms Professor Flip-Flops, who makes a rather flat-footed "joke" about Joey and Eddie being "Bonnie and Clyde." Huh? Eddie asks Joey why it isn't a TA monitoring their exam, and Flip-Flops overhears, tells Eddie that his "bionic hearing" is not to be underestimated, and explains that he enjoys proctoring exams. Joey loudly says to Eddie that this is because Flip-Flops likes watching them squirm under the steel-toed boot of his evil eye. Flip-Flops tells Joey that she's good at reading him, so now they'll see how she does with postwar American literature. Ooh, good one! Not. Eddie low-talks to Joey that he never got to thank Flip-Flops for the recommendation. A horrified Joey asks him if he intends to do so now. "What's the worst that could happen?" Eddie asks. Joey suggests that Flip-Flops could act like a prick and Eddie could punch him in the face again. Eddie assures her that this will not happen, because he can be the "bigger person." Joey says she thinks Eddie is correct about the bigness of himself, but underestimates The Unbearable Smallness Of Flip-Flops. Eddie disagrees, and goes off to meet his doom.
Up at the desk, Eddie tells Flip-Flops the following: "Hey, uh, Professor Hetson...I kinda thought maybe I'd like to thank you for, you know, helping me out with that school thing." Flip-Flops repeats Eddie's words back, making them sound just as inarticulate as they in fact were, as Joey looks on with a mixture of trepidation and amusement, trying to side with her boyfriend but tempted to side with Flip-Flops. "Your eloquence astounds me," Flip-Flops flaps. An overheated Eddie, subjected to literally one unkind remark, does just as he promised Joey he wouldn't and wigs out, threatening to "just bail on the whole concept." "Well, that is your specialty, isn't it?" Flip-Flops retorts. An exasperated Joey stomps over to the desk to break it up. "Did I not say this was going to happen?" she asks Eddie. "Hey, he started it," Eddie retorts. "Let me know when you've returned from the third grade," Joey says witheringly, and then turns to Flip-Flops. "All he was trying to say was 'thank you,'" she says. "Two simple words. And I believe the appropriate response is 'You're welcome,' maybe even 'Good luck in future endeavors.'" "Whatever," Flip-Flops snots. "Whatever," Joey repeats, and turns back to Eddie. "I encourage you to accept this 'whatever' as I believe this is the best you'll ever do," she says. ["Shout-out?" -- Sars] "Whatever," Eddie says. "Great," Joey spits. "My work here is done." She asks Eddie to leave, because he's destroying her concentration. "Whatever," he says again. "Great. Goodbye," she says. Flip-Flops fake-smiles at her, and she fake-smiles back as she takes a test booklet from the desk. Considering the tale of the It, it's so ironic how Joey only has any sort of chemistry with people -- like Flip-Flops -- who don't put up with her shit. Or who at least hate themselves for it.