Episode Report Card Manimal: B | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Truth be told -- over and over again
By Manimal | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.29.2001
Spy Daddy: You've been lied to. All lower-level agents have been lied to.
Sydney: So you're saying I'm working for the enemy.
BGCF and Manimal (in unison): JESUS CHRIST!! YES! YOU'RE WORKING FOR THE ENEMY!
Sydney: I'm working for the enemy. And you are the enemy.
BGCF and Manimal roll their eyes so hard they dislodge their contacts.
Spy Daddy: This is your last chance. You have to go.
Sydney: Who are you to come to me and act like a father? You wanna help me? Stay away from me.
BGCF: Okay, that was kind of hot.
Manimal: Shut up, you big tramp.
Sydney gets out of the car and runs away. Fade to a giant hand reaching for a pair of pliers. It's set up so it looks like the giant hand is about to grab her, and it's a weird shot, and it reminds me of those "Mr. Bill" skits on Saturday Night Live.
Back to Taiwanese Interrogation Chamber. Generic Asian Bad Guy is asking her who she works for, holding the pliers in front of her face. Sydney makes "agh, augh, agh" noises. They pull the clamps out of her mouth and she says, "I just wanna say, if you don't mind, start with the teeth in the back." Wow, that lady sure is SASSY! I bet those Chinese haven't seen American Sass like that before! Hey, American Sass -- that's a great name for a new perfume. Maybe by Tommy Hilfiger. Teeth pulling and screaming ensue, just like when we saw it the first time in Marathon Man.
Newsroom. Will. Will receives a mysterious note from Syd to meet him on the roof. Will no longer deserves a name. He is now Sad Sack Sidekick. Sydney, a little scuffed-up-looking, tells Will she needs his sister's passport and a credit card with a three-thousand dollar limit. And, of course, he acquiesces.
The Synth of Suspense plays as Sydney dyes her hair bright red. She opens the passport and carefully places a mole on the photo, and then on herself. I'm guessing that spies do stuff like this when they don't look like the photo, since people tend to focus on birthmarks and stuff. Unfortunately, this mole is the size of a microdot, so it seems pointless, but whatever.
Sydney sashays through the airport in that sassy, sassalicious, sass-pendous way she has, and she does look pretty cute, except that the hairstyle plus that color make her forehead look so huge that you could project movies on it, and she's sassy to the airport attendant (which is actually pretty funny) and just sassy in general as she flies to Taiwan. It's like...she's BECOME the sass.