Episode Report Card Sobell: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT It's so hard to find good conspiracy participants
By Sobell | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 09.18.2005
Kellerman gives a reptilian grin, because the phrase "something I don't know about" has wedged open a door to a little place he likes to call "The Blackmail Boudoir." The agent hands over a fat folder and says that "right now, [it's] just a piece of history. Whether it becomes a current event is up to you." Pope notes that the folder covers his activities in Toledo. He looks up, dismayed, and Agent Kellerman is not really bothering to hide the smirk on his face. Pope says, "My wife already knows about Toledo." Kellerman replies, "Does she really? Does she know that it's called 'Glass City' because of its long association with industrial glass products? Or that it's also called 'Frog Town'? Does she know its zoo was the first to feature the 'hippoquarium' exhibit? And does she know about the dead kid in this folder?"
Or, you know, maybe he just lets Pope sit there and stare at what is apparently a crime-scene photo while assuring him that once Michael Scofield is transferred to another prison, this little folder is in no danger of following Pope home.
We transition clumsily to Michael cutting a thick PVC pipe out in the yard. I can totally see where the entire prison staff is all, "Hey, why not let the inmates wield sharp tools unsupervised?" Maybe they share Kellerman's concerns about the extra bodies. Michael stands up and tells a guard he could use more PVC, and the guard makes the universal sign for "whatever." Michael then casually heads over to where Linc's busy using a sharp-edged spade in a completely harmless way, and after he passes him, Linc contrives a way into the garden shed too. The guard watches Linc follow Michael into the same toolshed in which two of Michael's toes were liberated from their oppressive workbook prison. It has apparently not occurred to this guard, or anyone else on the guard staff, that maybe someone should be hanging around making sure other parts of Michael don't come off in the tool shed? Not even after Abruzzi contrives an excuse to wander into the shed and takes Sucre with him? With guards like this, there's really no need to contrive elaborate escape plans, is there?
Inside the shed, Michael's staring some while Abruzzi blusters. When Sucre finally wanders in late -- trying to avoid rousing superstition, bless his little heart for the unnecessary effort -- Michael tells them all, "These are the guys we're breaking out with." Abruzzi doesn't think so, and insults Linc with, "I'm not going to work with this crazy rhino." He ignores Linc's beet-red face and the steam insistently whistling as it escapes via his ears, and continues with, "What's your deal, man?" Linc lifts Abruzzi off the ground and growls, "Touch my brother again, and I'll show you." In the background, Michael smacks his forehead with his hand and mutters, "Stupid." Oh, not really. But you wouldn't blame him if he did, would you? The camera swings back to Michael, who's seriously working the Blue Steel stare as he asks, "We've only got a few minutes. Are we going to spend them spitting on each other, or talking business? The reason we're all here today is we have a decision to make: English, Fitz or Percy. If we're going to pull this off, we need to take one of them out." Like, on a prison date? Is that going to be the long-awaited graphic content? Abruzzi wants to know if Michael's soliciting feedback on which one, and Michael says, "I just want you to help me get to them. I'll take it from there." So it is like The Dating Game! Sucre tells Michael he's crazy, and he replies, "All I need is five minutes." Michael, that is no way to get date number two.
Abruzzi and Sucre bitch and moan some more and Michael snaps, "We're not breaking out of a Jamba Juice, gentlemen. It's going to take more than digging a few holes. There are eyes, ears, dots that couldn't be connected from the outside." And English, Fitz, or Percy are one of those dates -- er, dots. Abruzzi gets all up in Michael's personal space to ask how he's going to pull it off. By performing an Abruzzi-ectomy, of course. Michael Blue Steels even harder and says, "With a little help from my friends." You can hear the irony dripping.