Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Ice Ice Redux
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 16 | Aired on 03.28.2006
Downstairs, Veronica quickly finds the board in question, which has lines for all the brothers containing pictures and scores of girls they supposedly bagged. This crowd is certainly the type to claim they fucked the business model, and she had all kinds of orgasms. VMVO says that the question is whether any of these guys scored the CCC she saw on Stacy's door. Veronica takes a bunch of pictures, and I don't want to tell her how to do her job, but if I saw that one of the pledges was nicknamed "Mr. Roofie," he might seem like a good place to start. (It's only there for a split second, but it is there, under "Freako" and to the right of "Drill Man." Veronica's understandably distracted, however, when she sees that someone with the handle "Bird Dog" has her picture up on his line. Bird Dog's made a huge mistake. Also potentially in error is an "Iceman," who has the CCC Veronica's looking for. Just then, however, some dude discovers Veronica, whines that she's in the "sanctum," and calls for the Iceman to cometh. Be careful -- I hear he just kind of sprays it everywhere. Iceman, it turns out, is Chip, the guy who talked to Veronica in the earlier scene at the frat house, and now, he gets up in her grill and shouts that the place is off-limits. He's actually completely convincingly intimidating. Okay, now I'm just lying for no reason.
Veronica sarcastically congratulates Iceman for his three hundred points. She then gives him props for being a rapist, but says she understands that he had to do it, or his brothers "would shave off [his] awesome Ryan Seacrest hairdo." And all this talk of Ryan Seacrest and rape makes me think of poor Will Makar. I'm not being harsh -- it's just simple math. Rape + Ryan = Will - Clothes. (Of course, in the "Stuff You Can't Make Up" department, Will's biggest talent wish in life is "pitcher." Dare to dream, kid.) Iceman growls that he didn't get those points for Stacy (Wells is her surname, if it matters), and the other dude says he nailed the Dean's wife. Iceman tells "Gordo" to zip it, and I think he should get a couple extra points just for that. Also, Gordo is the guy who was in the hospital, and Veronica notes that his head was shaved (although not as closely as Stacy's, which is kind of wussy). She doesn't seem to notice that, from his picture, it looks like they also shaved about fifty pounds off him, but she could just be focused on what's important to the case. Veronica then accuses Gordo of the rape. Gordo claims that Stacy is a tease: "She blew me off for some other dude who called her bluff. Boo hoo." Well, Veronica, I'm impressed with your self-restraint that you didn't use the stun gun here, especially since, given the situation, you no doubt have it at the ready. But even for a techie like you, there's a lot to be said for a good old-fashioned kick to the balls. Even your dad knows that. "Bird Dog," the doofus last seen showing Wallace around, appears, and Veronica announces that Iceman should get the clippers, since Bird Dog never scored her two hundred and forty points. She takes down her picture and crumples it up. Where there was a hottie, now there's...not. E. As she leaves, Bird Dog corrects her that it was two-ten. Veronica: "You undercounted the 'sassy.'" You'd think he would have corrected that mistake at the party, after wiping all the beer and drool off himself.