Episode Report Card M. Giant: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Welcome to the TerrorDome
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 6 | Aired on 01.23.2005
The editors start going crazy with the split-screening. I'm not going to try to keep up with it. Kiefer makes his way to the room where DaD is being tried, and hides among the random crates lying around the room. You see, terrorists? This is what happens when you don't pay attention to quality production values. The trial's still going on. In fact, the continued monologue of masked Poor Man's Robert Davi is trying to all of us. Poor Man's Robert Davi brandishes DaD's signed confession. Keeler's expression doesn't change visibly as he watches. Kiefer manages to make eye contact with DaD without getting spotted by anyone else. He makes a hand signal: an open palm followed by a closed fist. Five zero? What does that mean? Jack Lord is nearby? DaD appears to understand the signal, though, and that's what matters. PMRD pronounces the death sentence, to be carried out "immediately." He hands a pistol to his masked henchman, which strikes me as a bit odd. But I guess these internet terrorists figure that beheadings are so eighth-century. As the executioner levels the gun at DaD's head, DaD suddenly kicks back and tips his chair over so Kiefer can start shooting. Which he does. The executioner goes down first, of course, then the TerrorCameraman.
Keeler & Friends watch on board Air Force One as the picture from the webcast tips and goes snowy. On Keeler's order, his guy from the Washington Post yells down the phone to abort the missile launch. The missile would have been too late anyway; there are over three minutes to spare. It takes me three minutes to get a belch out sometimes. "He's doing it," says Driscoll at CTU, and she actually seems excited.
At the TerrorDome, the whole Terror AV Club goes down, except for Poor Man's Robert Davi, who escapes by giving himself heavy covering fire from an assault rifle. After he's gone, Kiefer releases DaD from his chair and hands him the Velveteen-Voiced Hostile's pistol from his man-purse. And just as Kiefer promised, they're off to fetch DoDder.
CTU gets confirmation that the missile strike's been aborted. "Where are the Marines?" Driscoll snaps. Special Agent Breck is on it.
12:08:33. Moving carefully through the TerrorDome's hallways, Kiefer takes point while DaD gets the always-in-demand job of guarding Kiefer's rear. They take a couple of guys out along the way. Kiefer loots the corpse of his kill to upgrade to assault rifle. If it wasn't clear before, it's now quite obvious that DaD has some military training. By the time they get to DoDder's cell, it's empty. "We gotta go," Kiefer understates, and leads DaD outside to a courtyard just as a grenade goes off where they were standing a moment ago. The explosion draws the attention of all the gunmen standing on the surrounding roofs, and Kiefer and DaD are immediately pinned down behind a parked car as terrorists shoot at them from above. Looks like CTU's count was pretty low. Kiefer and DaD work together to return fire. Kiefer's Kevlar vest does its thing at one point. Fortunately, the terrorists appear to have used up their one grenade. But then our heroes are out of ammo and they're being flanked, which makes this an excellent time for the cavalry to arrive. And indeed, helicopter gunships swoop in over the TerrorDome, strafing terrorists from the air and disgorging Marines onto the ground. There's some excellent battle footage. It really goes a whole lot better for these Marines than the ones in Black Hawk Down. Kiefer tells DaD to stay down while the TerrorDome is secured. Which looks like a good plan, until unmasked Poor Man's Robert Davi pops into view with a gun to DoDder's head in standard hostage/human shield configuration. Kiefer and DaD both point their empty guns at Poor Man's Robert Davi until he orders them to disarm, threatening to kill DoDder. They obey, but Kiefer's secretly preparing a dinky little throwing knife. He points out that Poor Man's Robert Davi's big day is over and he's surrounded. PMRD concedes the point, but as a consolation prize to himself, he's going to make Kiefer and DaD watch DoDder die. In the four seconds it takes for him to actually get ready to pull the trigger, DoDder "whips" out the switchblade Kiefer gave her, extends the blade, and buries it in PMRD's thigh. PMRD releases her, bellowing in pain, and Kiefer lets fly with the throwing knife. PMRD staggers backward and the Marines who were waiting for a clear shot take several. And PMRD is finally shut up for good. Thanks, Marines! DaD and DoDder rush into each other's arms. Kiefer looks just about ready to join them, but he remembers himself in time. As DoDder looks at Kiefer silently over DaD's shoulder, Kiefer hangs back quietly. He's a better man than I. I'd yell, "Now can we tell him?" In any case, everyone's safe and it's only 12:12:47. Holy crap.