Episode Report Card M. Giant: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Welcome to the TerrorDome
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 6 | Aired on 01.23.2005
At 12:44:53, Wahabist Wolf pulls his car out onto a scenic overlook, where I'm sure they will not be happened upon by anyone in the early afternoon on a non-school day. He goes around to the back and opens the trunk, while directing TerrorTeen to get the shovels out of the backseat. Looking at WW though the crack under the open trunk lid, TerrorTeen catches a glimpse of a gun in WW's hand. Oblivious, WW asks TerrorTeen to help him with Deaddie's Hefty-bagged corpse. This is the terrorists' body-disposal guru? A guy who buries people out in the open in broad daylight? And takes the body out of the trunk before he's finished digging? Why didn't TerrorDad just call Nate Fisher? Never mind -- I'm letting it go. But mark my words, if WW keeps up like this, his luck is going to run out soon.
While DoDder's getting her minor boo-boos patched up, Grayadder comes into the examination room. DoDder greets him ambiguously and assures him that she's not hurt. Now that Grayadder's alone with DoDder (although he's still standing about fifteen feet away from her), he has a little speech all prepared about how this crisis has made him realize what he wants, i.e. DoDder. He promises to make the marriage his first priority and everything. Big of him. DoDder tells him that's not what she wants. Grayadder calls himself a fool for asking DoDder to make decisions about their relationship at a time like this. Well, he's half right. DoDder cuts that off to say she's seeing someone else. Grayadder suddenly gets very British. "How long has this been going on?" he says. DoDder tells him it's been about six months. Six months? She's been boffing Kiefer for half a year and making him keep it a secret? So over her. He asks if she loves the guy, and she says yes. Just not enough to tell her DaD about it MOMENTS BEFORE HIS PUBLIC EXECUTION. Even now she's all uncomfortable about confessing this to Grayadder. Which, sure, awkward, but if you're going to confess something, there's never going to be a time in your life when he's going to cut you more slack. Go ahead, DoDder. Let it all out. Tell him about how you also broke his toy Dalek while dusting around it and you hate fish-paste sandwiches and you painted the spare bedroom while wearing his Manchester United jersey and you preferred the American version of Coupling. Now's the time.
Alas, the window of opportunity closes when Kiefer sticks his head in. In the room, pervs. He views the scene and tries to escape, but DoDder wants to introduce her ex to her current. "You're the one who saved DoDder's life," Grayadder says as they shake hands. "Thank you." What's Kiefer supposed to say to that? "You're welcome"? Like he saved DoDder for Grayadder? He looks from DoDder to Grayadder for about five minutes before finally settling on, "You're welcome." Gagh! I'm starting to think he's kind of hopeless without a crisis to make him look good. Kiefer tells DoDder that the TerrorCorpse photo portfolio is ready for her to look at, and Grayadder leaves unhappily, while Kiefer acts like there's something grody on his hand. Kiefer approaches DoDder and asks if she's ready to go. She's a little weepy, but a kiss makes it all better. Glass doors, people! Glass doors everywhere! Christ. How did they keep this secret for six minutes, let alone six months? It's 12:49:46.