Episode Report Card Sara M: C | 2 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Way to Go, Exile Alliance
By Sara M | Season 18 | Episode 9 | Aired on 04.16.2009
As for my take on this story, here goes: at first, I was like "that never happened, Douche is full of shit, I hate him even more than usual." Also, I was insulted for indigenous people everywhere that Douche would assume we'd all believe they were tiny savage people, which they aren't. They've been in contact with the outside world and anthropologists stay with them all the time and never get killed at all. But then I thought about it and realized that if I was in an Amazon Indian tribe and Douche came kayaking down my river, I'd totally want to kill him. I'd want to beat him with clubs and everything! So perhaps Douche's story is true after all. In which case, those Amazon Indians have earned my scorn for not following through and thus being indirectly responsible for Douche being on my TV screen every week. It is also possible that Douche saw that episode of South Park where Jennifer Aniston got the boys lost in the rainforest and they were almost killed by tiny little indigenous people. I saw that episode, as well as one a few weeks back where we realize that Cartman really does believe the things he says, and also that he saved Jimmy from a dragon while everyone congratulated him on not being fat. Perhaps Douche has the same problem as Cartman.
Please note that the opening credits contain shots of indigenous people. And yet, somehow the camera crew managed to finish the shoot without being killed. What's up with that?
And just in case you didn't get enough of Douche before the credits, now we have him doing his stupid morning warrior pose ritual. The editors are enjoying the hell out of themselves, interspersing shots of Douche with clouds and birds and Asian-y music. But I don't like it, because I know that at home right now, Douche does not realize they're making fun of him and thinks this is awesome although he could have cut the segment better. The rest of the tribe watches from the campfire and Brendan makes fun of him. J.T. interviews that Brendan wants to get rid of him at the next Tribal Council, but he's not worried about that since he's in a "power alliance" with Douche and Tyson and Debbie. Because nothing says "power" like the most self-deluded man in the world, a sociopathic and possibly sexually confused professional bicycle rider, and the school principal.
Douche walks up to the tribe and ascertains that everyone was watching him do his stupid poses. Brendan can't help but ask where Douche learned his moves, as if he really thinks Douche will actually admit that he got them from his own head. No, Douche claims it's some ancient Tibetan thing called Chong Ran, which I think he just pulled from the title of his favorite Cheech and Chong movie. He says it isn't in any books or even on the internets and has been passed down through oral history. He learned it from a monastery. Brendan: "wow." Sierra: "you looked hilarious." Douche claims he doesn't care what anyone thinks of him, only to run right to an interview and say he's so upset by what Sierra said that he now thinks of her as the shit of the dragon whose head he will be cutting off at the next Tribal Council. Incidentally, there was an episode of South Park where they found out that people shit after they die, so if Brendan is the dragon and he dies at Tribal, let's hope that Sierra emerges with a vengeance. Douche says that he's in total control of this game and he's a dragon slayer, blah blah we heard it all last week. He also claims that he was "born" to do this, and if that's true then why isn't he a real army general instead of a former part-time soccer coach?