Episode Report Card Sara M: C | 2 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Way to Go, Exile Alliance
By Sara M | Season 18 | Episode 9 | Aired on 04.16.2009
Douche votes for Brendan and talks about dragon slaying AGAIN. Was he afraid that if he only said it once it could be edited out and so said it multiple times to make sure his clever sayings that he probably got from the back of a kung-fu movie box would be seen by all, or does he really think that the people at home won't be so annoyed to hear this over and over again, or is he just insane and keeps forgetting that he already said the dragon thing and says it over and over again, each time believing it's the first time? Brendan votes for Douche. We don't see who Stephen votes for, but he says "this is my wizard lightning shooting you back home. Ka-pow!" and I am sooooo happy because there's no way he isn't voting for Douche right now. It wasn't until a few sad minutes later that I realized that the fact that it was so obvious it was Douche meant that it wasn't.
Probst brings in the urn and asks if anyone would like to play his idol. Brendan reaches down ... and drinks some water from his canteen. Whatever. Douche is going home tonight, so while this wasn't very smart of Brendan, it won't cost him the game tonight. Douche winks at Tyson, it never having occurred to him that Brendan would have tried the exact same thing against him that he tried to do against Brendan. In this way, they are both stupid and short-sighted. First vote: Douche. Second vote: Douche. My heart sings! Then Brendan gets a vote, but it's from Douche, so that's okay. Brendan gets a second vote, but that's still okay. Then he gets a third vote and looks very worried, but I think that's still okay because Tyson, Douche, Debbie, and Erinn are all voting for Brendan or Sierra, right? Sierra gets a vote, and again, that's okay. Time for Douche to get all the rest of the votes and leave my screen forever and ever. When the reunion happens, I'll just wait for him to sit down and stick a piece of black tape over it and I won't even have to see him then.
But fuck me, Sierra gets a second vote. Then a third. And she and Brendan are finally realizing that they played this all wrong, although they still probably don't know how. The last vote is for Brendan, so he's out of the game and on the jury. Douche lives to see another week, and I am sad and angry. I hate J.T., Stephen, and Taj for this. I know they probably made the smartest decision and Brendan screwed himself over by waiting way too long to talk to Taj, giving Douche and Tyson a chance to get to Jalapeño first. They're smug in victory, while Sierra looks ready to cry. Probst extinguishes Brendan's torch and he quickly turns around, I was hoping to tell Douche off. But instead he wishes everyone luck and leaves. Probst congratulates the entire tribe except Sierra on their gigantic blindside, which, again -- if only two people are surprised, can it really be called a blindside? And do I really have to watch this show next week? I don't love to hate Douche. I just hate him.