Episode Report Card Sars: D | 1 USERS: C- YOU GRADE IT Home Movies
By Sars | Season 3 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.19.1999
In the stands, Jen says grimly, "One good deed down, one to go." Dawson comments that Jen has again fallen victim to "her own big heart." Jen elbows him and groans.
Andie rushes up to Principal Green and says she needs to talk to him right away; he wants to know if it can wait, but Andie says no, and then she launches into her prepared speech, but she has enough long pauses in the beginning to let Principal Green jump in with, "What are you talking about, Andie?" Good thing five people haven't already asked her that today. Oh, right, so they have. Andie asks, "Didn't you want to talk to me?" Principal Green says that if she must know right now instead of waiting until Monday, he's forming a student disciplinary committee, and he wants to put Andie in charge of it. Good choice, Principal Green. Why not give Dawson a leadership position in the Itsy-Bitsy Forehead Club, too? Andie sputters her gratitude and tries to take back what she'd said before about making a mistake, and Principal Green goes to join the team on the fifty-yard line. This installment of "Irony: How To Miss The Entire Point" has been brought to you by Alanis Morissette.
Fifty-yard line. Principal Green presents the winner of the silent auction, who has won "one ride on the Minuteman Mule, and one heart-stopping kiss from our head cheerleader." "Ex head cheerleader," Jen hisses. The Minuteman, complete with powdered wig, leads the Mule in, and it stumbles, dumping the auction winner -- Henry -- on the ground. He staggers to his feet and yanks his helmet off and stares at Jen puppyishly. Jen snickers, "Henry?" Henry nods in mute adoration. She asks how he got five hundred dollars, and he stammers, "Mouthpiece." As the crowd urges Henry to kiss her already, Jen asks if he really sold his Doug Flutie "memorial mouthpiece" just to get a smooch from her. Henry looks away, then back at her, and nods dumbly. Jen smiles in spite of herself and says, "I don't know whether to gag or be incredibly touched." Heh. The cheerleaders lead the crowd in a chant of "kiss, kiss, kiss" and Jen looks around uncomfortably. Henry tells her she doesn't have to kiss him if she doesn't want to. Jen tries to hide another smile, says, "Come here, freshman," and pulls him towards her. The slo-mo starts up again as they kiss, and Jen's bottom lip squishes out on Henry's. Violins. Loud, skillet-esque violins. Back to regular, um, "mo" and Jen urging everyone to go on home and Henry grinning. Principal Greene stops her and says they have "a little unfinished business" to attend to first. Then he crowns Jen Homecoming Queen, and as another student drapes Jen in a cloak and places a tiara on her head and a wand in her hand, Jen mutters, "This isn't happening." No, Jen, it isn't, because you aren't a senior, you aren't pretty, and for the last time, you aren't Janeane Garofalo.