Episode Report Card Sars: D | 1 USERS: C- YOU GRADE IT Home Movies
By Sars | Season 3 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.19.1999
Jack slumps on the bench. Andie percolates up behind him and tells him, "See? I told you everything would work out fine." "You did?" Jack asks, removing a towel from his head. Andie burbles about a positive attitude. Jack refers wryly to her previous doomsday predictions that he would disgrace Clan McPhee and horrify their father, and Andie comments derisively that Angry Pants is "probably out sailing or golfing or wherever he is -- I wouldn't give it another thought." Jack shakes his head and makes an "I give up" face while wiping makeup off with his towel, then tells Andie that she's making his head spin. She says she's just glad it's over, and she can't tell him how relieved she feels, and then she asks, "So who won the game, anyway?" Jack stares at her. I find myself overcome with gales of laughter at the wackiness of Andie's subplot. Oh, so sorry -- I seem to have confused "gales of laughter" with "convulsive retching."
The Minuteman Mule. More bickering. The costume comes off to reveal neither Pacey nor Joey, but rather two similarly antagonistic freshmen who evidently got suckered into wearing the mascot uniform by "those two slackers." Please, God, let it end.
Joey reacts unfavorably to Pacey's surprise, a leaky boat with peeling paint on blocks in a boatyard. Pacey says a friend of his brother's sold it to him cheap. Joey doesn't think Pacey will ever get it into floating shape; Pacey doesn't care. He announces his intention to sail around the world in his boat once he finishes working on it, and Joey says, "I hate to break it to you, Captain Stubing, but you can't sail around the world in a twenty-foot boat." Could the characters on this show please stop using the phrase "I hate to break it to you"? I mean, we've heard it three times in this one episode alone. Dear writers: The thesaurus and you. Perfect together. Love, The Not-As-Stupid-As-You-Seem-To-Think Viewing Public. Anyway, Pacey points out that the much-smaller U.S.S. Minnow had room for all of the Gilligan's Island characters and their stuff. Well, he convinced me. Not. Joey asks for "permission to come aboard." Pacey helps her up into the boat and reveals the contents of the mysterious package: a sign reading "True Love," which will adorn the vessel. Pacey says, "Kinda high on the schmaltz factor, huh?" and Joey says, "Acutely. But sweet." Pacey puts her to work sanding the boat. Joey glares at him before saying, "You are so overboard," but they spend a happy afternoon sanding as a mournful patchouli-and-scarf-wearing ovary sings about "another bridge to cross."