Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Crushed Velvet
By M. Giant | Season 6 | Episode 1 | Aired on 01.13.2007
Wayne (sorry, I'm just not ready to call him "President Palmer" yet) listens as Tom warns him that the American people are losing faith in the government's ability to protect them. Karen says, "Locking up more Muslims will not make them safer." Especially the Muslims. "No, Karen," Tom readily agrees, "but it will make them feel safer." Okay, forget shooting him into space. Shoot him into the side of a mountain. Wayne finally weighs in on the debate, reminding everyone that he took an oath to defend the Constitution just three months ago. So the bombings have been going on for half of his administration? I don't blame people for losing faith. A guy named Blake (White House Counsel, I assume) says that Tom's plan is totally legal, and that there are precedents. We get to hear about Lincoln suspending habeas corpus, and FDR interning 200,000 Japanese-Americans. Wayne reminds everyone that most people now think that was a "shameful mistake," and Tom wonders "how many of those Japanese-Americans were thus prevented from perpetrating acts of sabotage within this country." I would be willing to guess...less than half. Am I too out on a limb here?
Someone delivers a bulletin to Karen, and she announces to the room that there's just been another attack in Los Angeles. Twenty-three people are dead so far, including the suicide bomber. On the bright side, the damage from the explosion actually increased the value of the Gehry building. Wayne clenches his jaw, standing nervously and symbolically on the Presidential seal in his office rug. I totally want one of those rugs. He turns to look at an open dossier on his desk, which is about a guy named Hamril Al-Assad. (You won't be surprised to hear that the photo does not depict a towering Aryan.) And now, Tom and Karen actually agree on something, which is that Assad is the guy behind the recent attacks and therefore needs to be taken out. But Tom also advocates contingencies. Wayne insists that Assad needs to be eliminated, period. He flops into the Presidential chair and carps, "God knows we're paying a steep enough price to get him." And what price might you be paying, Wayne? As if we didn't already know. And I'm sorry, but I'm still trying to get past the idea that any America -- even the America of the 24-verse -- would elect Wayne Palmer President. Last year, he couldn't even do better than fourth in a poll consisting only of 24 viewers.