Episode Report Card Jessica: C | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Use Your Disillusion
By Jessica | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.06.2001
Boston Bay College For Cheating, Shakespeare-Hating Former Prepsters. Jen's playing with Charlie's guitar while he massages her back. She makes a pained face. "Is that your elbow? Because that's kind of digging into me." Charlie removes the offending body part, explaining that "it's called rolfing. It's a more intense form of massage." He read about it in InStyle. Jen complains that she prefers regular old "Swedish massage." Man, you know you've got it good when you're complaining about the genre of massage you're receiving from your dreamy boyfriend. Jen wants to know if Charlie will accompany her to see Othello at a local playhouse; she's required to go for one of her classes. Charlie is quick to point out that he has to work, and also that he hates Shakespeare. Jen is only slightly offended by her boyfriend's lack of culture, because he quickly distracts her by sticking his tongue down her throat.
Liberty Hell. Apparently, the restaurant is actually called "Civilization," according to Entertainment Weekly and the sharp-eyed people on the forums who read the teeny-tiny print on the chef's caps, but I'm sticking with the original name. It's on the sign! Anyway, Danny The Chef is teaching Pacey and the rest of the boys in the back how to play quarters. Well, he's showing them how to bounce the quarter into the glass. They're not doing the fun part, which is drinking when you miss. "You've got to bounce it," Danny says, as his quarter clinks neatly into the glass. "You're my hero. You are my hero," Pacey tells him, as Karen enters the kitchen. How has Pacey not learned to play quarters by this point? Wouldn't Gretchen -- you know what? Never mind. All the men pretend like they're working, and Karen rolls her eyes. "Save it," she spits. "I can smell the male bonding from behind the door. And the odor is pungent." She tosses something onto the table -- a towel? Her soul? I don't know. And since when is quarters a male-only thing? Pacey charms that maybe the smell was just "his pheromones" calling to her. "Maybe you just need stronger deodorant," Karen retorts, bouncing the quarter into the glass herself. Every man in the kitchen looks admiringly after her, as she waltzes back out into the dining area. As if. Listen, if all it took to get men panting after you was a bad attitude and a knack for drinking games, I'd be turning people away at the door. "Good luck, my friend," Danny tells Pacey, who's doing his best to look lovelorn. "I've seen better men try and fail. Why don't you come over here and sit on my lap, and tell me all about it?" Well, except for that last part. Pacey grins at him. "Yes," he says, "but did they have a fifty-foot yacht to try and lure her with?" Is that a euphemism? Chef Danny admits that they did not, and takes this opportunity to ask if he can borrow the boat one evening, offering Pacey the night off in exchange. Is that a euphemism? You know, "borrowing the boat"? If it's not, it ought to be. At any rate, Pacey agrees to the deal, and finally neatly bounces a quarter into the glass. He and Chef Danny yell victoriously and jump up and down, embracing each other. I think they both need to get out more. I mean, I jump up and down about a lot of things -- getting my unemployment check, finding the toenail clippers, seeing a commercial about the new Harry Potter movie -- but not quarters. Because jumping plus drinking equals barfing.