Episode Report Card Sara M: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Big Big Shop of Horrors
By Sara M | Season 9 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.23.2005
Lucy's baby stares at her mother with about as much horrified disgust as a baby's face can make. Lucy's lying on the ambulance stretcher with a crowd around her, giving her so much attention that I have to wonder if perhaps Lucy didn't sabotage the elevator for this exact result. RevCam gives Matt a "nice going" and tries not to look too jealous that Matt got to see Lucy's bits and he didn't. Ruthie asks Lucy what the baby's name will be. Lucy says that she thought about giving her a name from the Bible, like everyone else in her family, but then she and Kevin decided to name her after the place they spent their honeymoon. "Jekyll," Simon asks, "like Jekyll Island?" That would be awesome, but Kevin says they didn't go to Jekyll Island, so whatever, Simon. Lucy explains they went to Savannah, Georgia, on their honeymoon, and it was a very "special time" for them. Kevin smiles, fondly remembering one of the last times he had sex. I don't even know where Jekyll Island even is, but I'm sure it's a better place to spend on honeymoon than freaking Georgia. The ten-year-old who wrote this probably just discovered the existence of Georgia in her "maps" class and thought it sounded exotic. Lucy introduces the family to "Savannah Kinkirk." The Twinkles of That Baby Is Destined To Work In The Adult Entertainment Industry play. Matt says they have to get Lucy and Savannah to the hospital. "Let's roll," he says to the EMTs. They must hate him so much by now.
RevCam, Annie, and SamVid follow the stretcher out. Simon, Martin, and Mac hang behind and talk about how this makes them want to get married and have lots of kids. "Maybe I'll marry a girl with a bunch of brothers and sisters," says Martin. The three walk off, leaving Ruthie. Her dead soulless eyes flash and she says, "Who knows? Maybe someday you will. Maybe you will." She doesn't add "during next season's May sweeps," because that pretty much goes without saying.
Nighttime at the CamPound! RevCam's sitting in the kitchen wearing his finest grandpa cardigan. Matt comes down and says that the house has been "completely rearranged." It seems that the baby shower guests just decided who should sleep in which room and moved everyone's personal belongings and furniture around. But this is what the Camdens, desperate for baby shower guests, get for dropping by the local OCD support group meeting and herding its members into the CamPound, isn't it? Anyway, Martin will now be living in the garage apartment, while Kevin and Lucy will be moving to their new house whenever Kevin tells her about its existence. For now, Kevin and Lucy will stay in Simon's room while the room adjoining it, with the sliding connecting doors, will house Savannah. The twins will move to the room Martin was in, and Simon and Martin will share the garage apartment when Simon is home. I hope Mac doesn't get jealous! Ruthie will stay in the attic, because none of the guests had the courage to enter her lair and move her stuff around. Matt asks which room the guests gave him, and RevCam reports that they seem to think that Matt should go back to New York before his marriage "falls apart." Too late, but nice try, ladies. Matt says he'll sleep on the couch. But first, RevCam wants to tell Matt that he's proud of him because Matt will be a "great" doctor and he's already an all-around great guy. Matt credits his parents with how he turned out, and this actually makes a lot of sense. Suck begets suck, does it not? They hug and Matt goes off to bed, telling RevCam he shouldn't be smoking cigars on his way out. RevCam pulls out a cigar and sniffs it. "That's my boy," he says. He goes outside and lights up. I guess even RevCam knows that Matt's medical advice is worth absolutely nothing.