Episode Report Card Potes: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Down At Snaggle Rock
By Potes | Season 6 | Episode 7 | Aired on 04.18.2006
Next is Jade, who is frighteningly mannequinish. It's not Kim Cattrall mannequin; it's a mannequin that will come and eat your brains while you sleep. I am sure you're not surprised. Jay is really impressed with Jade's body positions, and commends her work. She is pleased, and decides to write a poem about it.
Am I living in a box
Am I living in a cardboard box
Am I living in a box
Am I living in a cardboard box
--A poem by Jadezra Pound
Furonda's rag doll is sitting on a giant chair, like Lily Tomlin's Edith Ann character. Jay says that this is the best shoot Furonda's done, so far. She improvised, and it was a pleasure to watch her. Or maybe it's just that he likes doll-on-doll action. Seriously, that is some weird shit right there.
Finally, there is Nnenna, who looks crazy in a curly-ass baby doll wig. Nnenna interviews that she wasn't a big fan of dolls growing up, so posing like a doll is awkward. Jay asks a struggling Nnenna how a baby doll should look, and she says happy. He agrees, and tells her to think about John back at the house. Jay is The Mole! Nnenna looks really stiff and unhappy. Way to put in an effort, there, champ. Jay says that Nnenna is still holding back her emotions, and that it's hurting her.
The girls all line up before Jay. He tells them that, today, they're dealing with perfection and beauty, so Tyra has an extra-special treat for them all. They're going to the dentist. Perhaps Jay, like Harvey the Elf, actually always wanted to be a dentist, so this is his manner of fantasy fulfillment. Danielle already looks like she knows something is up. Jay says that most of the girls will just be getting their teeth whitened, but that Joanie and Danielle are going to have something done about the snaggle and the gap, respectively. Joanie is in awe. She starts to cry, and Danielle hugs her. Joanie says that she couldn't afford anything like that, and interviews that if her family could go to the dentist for a checkup every year, they were lucky. She could never afford braces or other snaggletooth-correcting mechanisms.
Soon enough, we are at the dental office of Dr. Edgardo Falcon Jr. He is very plump. Never trust a fat dentist who is willing to work evenings, I always like to say. I hope the girls are in good hands. Just looking at the cold, sterile office gives me a chill. It's kind of like looking at Nnenna. The doctor takes some x-rays and photos, and we get to see a very large shot of Joanie's signature tooth, in all its snaggly glory, as well as the underside of her nose. Fierce! Dr. Falcon asks Joanie whether she knows what veneers are, and she says that they're like caps. He says that each tooth will be filed down, and a porcelain overlay put over each. I just want to take a moment and thank my parents for forcing me to have a whole mess of teeth out when I was eleven and wear braces for six years, because the thought of someone filing down my teeth seriously makes me want to vomit. I had some messed-up teeth when I was a kid, so there but for the grace of God (and Dr. Conlin) went I.