Episode Report Card Erin: A | 1 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Hell Hath No Fury
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.08.2003
We flash back to the moment, and Copernicus Columbus Sark hands over a disc and says, "Your new assignment." Good golly, David Anders looks good with that buzz cut. Yummers. No, Sammy Rock. You're much prettier than David Anders. In your own way. Now go dance like Chuck Barris or something. Miss Thang is working. Sloane explains to the troops that it would seem the Covenant is no longer interested in using his organization as a front for their dirty works. "I presume you know what a maser is," Sloane says. "You mean, a microwave laser?" asks Marshall. "Well, yeah. Duh. Who DOESN'T know what that is? Oh. Wait. Everyone in the room and everyone at home doesn't know that. Huh. Okay. After I splutter and spatter for a second here about whether or not I'm answering to Sloane anymore, I'll just explain it to y'all."
In short? A "maser" is a microwave (and I'm presuming not the kind of microwave you pop popcorn in) that gets focused into a pinpoint beam, much like light gets focused into a laser. Sloane's supposed to attend a function hosted by the Chinese government at one of their ministries tomorrow night, and the Covenant has discovered that one of these maser units is held at the ministry. "China intends to mount a maser ray on one of their satellites," says Sloane. "It is…an assassination program." Agent Sean is all, whoa, hold the phone. Are you saying one of these masers can kill from space? Spy Daddy's all, oh, yeah, buddy. These things can cause heart failure, brain hemorrhaging, you name it. This weapon could make it appear as if the victim died from natural causes. Agent Sean looks considerably bothered by this revelation. ["As well he should, since it sounds like the writers stole it from an episode of Justice League. Give us a break, J.J." -- Sars]
Sloane's been ordered by the Covenant to steal the maser's operating system, which is in the Chinese defense minister's office. Dix blows hard about how he wants strategic services to review Sloane's plan and how he'll then assign an agent to go along. Sloane's WAY ahead of him. "I presumed that would be the case," he smarms. "Therefore, I propose that Sydney accompany me to the function posing as my assistant." Syd just looks at him as Spy Daddy looks distinctly uncomfortable. "And then together we can obtain the operating system, corrupt the maser, and pass along the faulty data to the Covenant," says Sloane, looking awfully pleased with himself. "That is," he says, turning to Dix, "if the CIA still intends to use me as a double agent."