Episode Report Card Drunken Bee: A | 4 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Father Never Knows Best
By Drunken Bee | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.23.2006
Out on the field, Saracen gets ready for the snap when he notices Julie walking along the field. Her hair blows in the wind like Botticelli's Venus. Aimee Teagarden really is a pretty girl, and hair like that is believable on the daughter of Connie "Hot Mama" Britton. Saracen is obviously distracted, despite all these manly voices yelling "Get your head in the game, Saracen!" He takes the snap and runs the wrong way with the ball. When he corrects, he gets tackled, his helmet flying off his damn, dumb head. Voodoo laughs from behind his helmet on the sidelines. Coach Taylor walks out to give him a dressing down about knowing his right from his left. As Taylor yells at him about playing smart, Julie walks up behind her dad to tell him Mom needs to know how many people are coming to the party. Apropos of nothing, Coach Taylor pauses while talking to his daughter to yell at Now-Identified-Latino-Boy, "Hey, Reyes, get yer head outta yer ass while yer at it." Julie says, "Nice, dad, very elegant," and isn't it funny how sometimes Man Men have daughters? The boys run another play and this time, under Julie's watch, Saracen does okay. Taylor tells Julie to tell her mother "fiftyish" and then after prompting by his savvy daughter, changes it to "sixtyish." She trills out "Love ya, Daddy!" and he responds in kind, wishing her a good day. All together now, "Awww!"
In Coach Taylor's office, he dresses Saracen down a bit more, telling him that he's a mess on the field. The Three's Company laugh track starts up as Taylor leans back in his chair and says, "Now, I know what's distracting you" and Matt goes all shifty-google-eyed, "You do?" Wacky hijinks will ensue! Taylor continues on, "You forget about Voodoo. This is within your reach." Matt breaths a sigh of relief. But not for long, as Coach follows his "attack the opportunity" pep talk by asking if Matt has a girlfriend or someone he's interested in. Matt just stutters for a while until Coach tells him to take her out, to the movies, to dinner, "get her in the backseat of your car, I don't care, whatever, you need to get loose out there." Now, okay. On one hand, I am ALL for acknowledging that teenagers are sexual beings. On the other, dude, you have a daughter -- a smart one -- so it is time to sack up and be a feminist for her. Don't talk about teenaged girls like holes that need filling.
Matt Saracen has gotten some great reaction shots here, though, as his coach unwittingly tells him to basically hook up with his own daughter. He's all wide eyes and more stuttering. Saracen is always such an awkward klutz off the field and so far has rarely been all that good on the field, we're having to take a lot on faith here to buy this "coach sees something great in this kid" storyline.