Episode Report Card Drunken Bee: A | 4 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Father Never Knows Best
By Drunken Bee | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.23.2006
Later that night, after work (he's wearing his white shirt/white pants Alamo Freeze get-up) Saracen goes home to find his grandmother not at home. He panics and goes next door, where a tremendously disheveled woman answers the door and says she hasn't seen her either, but does not offer to help the kid. Real nice, lady.
At the grocery store, Julie high-spiritedly helps her mother load up frozen slabs of ribs into the shopping cart. I would kill my husband if I had to go do the shopping after a long day at work, for a party he was hosting. Connie Britton is in a scoop-neck white t-shirt, and MAN she is hot. She's totally scattered and overwhelmed; Julie's acting flighty when her mom asks about whether they got the onions, and when Tami pauses for a second with a strand of stressed-out hair falling over her eyes to just sort of plead with her nearly-grown daughter to just be helpful for once, it's just televisual perfection. Julie flomps off to get some more onions, and Tami keeps frantically loading things onto the checkout counter, the "Beep! Beep! Beep!" of bar codes being swiped in the background. A lady with a drawl and long-blond hair stops to observe to Tami all, "Rivalry Week dinner at the coach's house!" and Tami once again puts on her Lady Face, the one she uses to converse with the WomanBots in the town. They chat for a bit, and BlondeBot asks if she can bring anything. Tami's eyes widen and she stutters, "No, that's alright-- oh! Oh, are y'all comin'? Are the parents comin'?" and BlondeBot replies, "Wouldn't miss it for the world!" and then moves on. The second she's out of sight, Tami's face falls, as she exhaustedly stacks twelve-packs of soda back into the cart.
Back at the Street of It's Halfway Through the Episode And You Haven't Cried Yet, Don't Think You'll Get Out of It So Easily, Saracen walks along the road back toward his house when a police cruiser pulls up. Grandma, obviously, is in the back seat, looking confused but knowing enough to be ashamed. Matt nervously asks what happened, and the officer explains that she wandered into a neighbor's house and started taking a bath. Matt goes to her in the backseat of the car, and she starts sobbing and clings to his neck. He helps her out of the car, puts his arm around her and she begs him not to let anyone see her like this. She rests her head on his shoulder as they walk, and he wraps his hand around her sad, vulnerable head. See, Coach Taylor, this young man is in the business of getting old ladies out of back seats, not getting young ladies into them.