Episode Report Card Omar G: B+ | 3 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Lex, Scrambled
By Omar G | Season 3 | Episode 9 | Aired on 01.13.2004
Shirtless boys in captivity. Van McNulty is doing arm curls in his cell. Barney comes in. "Is that my package?" McNulty asks. No, you're just happy to see him. Barney has brought him a little white box. He asks what McNulty wants with one of these rocks. McNulty opens the box. A baseball-sized piece of Kryptonite is inside. It glows faintly green. McNulty pulls some cash out of his stinky, no-sock-having loafers and hands it to Barney. If I were Barney, I'd demand money that didn't smell of feet. "Whatever floats your boat, my man," says Barney as he exits. Tool Boy, also shirtless, walks right in from a shower. He sees the meteor rock in McNulty's hands. "When Kent comes back, he's gonna have a little surprise waiting for him," says McNulty. McNulty goes and does some bench presses. Hasn't anyone learned never to do bench presses on free weights in prison? It's just an invitation for danger. Tool Boy hangs from a chin-up bar, and the camera revolves to show a little human head coming out of his back. Hey, it's Kuato! A second Jonathan Taylor Thomas emerges from the back of the first one. He's about 1/6 of the way to a Home Improvement reunion special! "You need a spot?" Tool Boy #1 asks McNulty. McNulty makes a bad move by saying he'll be ready when Clark comes, but until then, he doesn't want to pretend that he and Tool Boy are friends. Tool Boy introduces McNulty to his "better half." It's the bench press choke-down! Like we haven't seen this one before. The two of them choke McNulty with the bar, but good. "Well, you should know better than to trust a meteor freak," says Tool Boy #1. Wordy McWord. Goodbye, Van McNulty. I shall treasure your name always. You got McNullified. (tm Cyb.)
Commercials Should I mention how appropriate it is that Smallville is being sponsored by a easy macaroni products called "Easy Mac"?
More from Metropolis. Doctor Unamused walks in to a hospital room and asks what the emergency is about. A nurse standing by says she doesn't know of one. The doctor goes over to a lanky kid in a bed; the kid looks pretty out of it. Clark and Chloe show up at the door to foil the plot, Encyclopedia Brown-style. They ask if this is what she plans to do to Lex. She says that if they're there to accuse her of criminal malpractice, she'll get the facts to back herself up. Why should she? Can't she just have Papa Luthor eliminate them? Chloe asks about a lawsuit pertaining to the radical shock treatment. Unamused looks down at the boy and says that what happened to Mr. Watkins was unfortunate. But, she says, the suit was dropped. "Because Lionel Luthor paid it off," Clark says, like he's Ralph Nader. Unamused says she's busy and excuses herself. Clark asks her if she thinks Papa Luthor will just let her off the hook once the dirty deed is done. "You have all the power here, doctor," Chloe says. No, she doesn't! Chloe advises her to help Lex and herself. To be dead.