Episode Report Card Al Lowe: A- | 158 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT C'mon Baby, Drive My Car
By Al Lowe | Season 6 | Episode 21 | Aired on 2006.05.02
Jackson pulls Sookie through the Inn to an empty room and demands that she smell him. "You smell like Jackson," she says, "and something else...it's not zucchini, it's not sprouts...what is that?" Frustrated, Jackson reveals the truth: "I smell like marijuana!" Apparently, the back half-acre is now a giant field of pot, because he had not planted there for a few years. "Every square inch!" he says. "Hundreds of plantings. It looks like Harrison Ford's backyard!" He's figured out that the wicked Templeton brothers, who he recently fired, probably planted it right before he let them go. "I told them to weed the back half-acre!" he says. "They're not the smartest of fellas." Sookie says that along with being dumb, they also listened to the Allman Brothers, which should have been a clue. Jackson is freaking out, asking what they're going to do with a full half-acre of marijuana. I can think of a few things. Sookie says that they can't keep saying "the M word," or someone will overhear, and that they need a code name. "How about 'evil crop'?" Jackson asks, but they decide on "pickles". He keeps on wigging, saying that they're both felons for being in possession. "If the cops came to my field today," he says, "we'd both go to jail. We'd lose everything we own! We'd lose the kids!" Sookie gasps: "All because of pickles." He says he's going to send his staff home early and go to the back field and pull up every last "pickle." They try to be cool and walk out of through the restaurant like nothing's going on, but their pickle-jones is too strong and Jackson wrecks a table.
Y'all, seriously, one thing I am not going to miss when this season is over is having to watch these One Tree Hill commercials. Now there is a show that needs some pitiless recapping. I don't know why I have such a hate-on for Chad Michael Murray, but I really do. If Logan had a Mr. Hyde, it'd be that dude. Take one look at his monkey head and three o'clock shadow and tell me I'm wrong.
Back from commercials, the Troubadour is jangling out a nice cover of "Me And Julio," on the sidewalk. Inside, Luke comes to Kirk's table to take his order. Kirk, however, is more interested in talking about his beard, which he is growing out. Kirk says that he often finds himself rubbing his chin in a ponderous way. Luke ain't in the mood, and says that he'll come back later. Through the door comes Liz, who has apparently been off at some renaissance faire or another, selling jewelry by the handful. "I've got all this money now," she says, "but I got no idea what to do with it. Not a clue." Luke suggests putting it in a bank. Liz has got bigger news than her sales success, though. She's pregnant. Luke is thrilled. She is very happy and says she's going to do all the healthy things this time that she didn't do when she was pregnant with Jess. "Like," for example, "not binge-drink." That explains a lot. Luke says that T.J. must be really excited and asks where he is. "Oh, he's gone," Liz says, all casual. "Gone, the big Gone, out of my life." Luke, who should close the diner and hire a brass band to celebrate this news, instead gets very upset: "T.J. can't be gone. He's your husband!" Liz shrugs: "Since when has that kept guys from leaving?" Luke -- not smelling the irony about getting mad over a man mistreating the woman he loves -- gets furious. Liz tells Luke that he's getting mad over nothing, and that she needs him to stay calm. "It's all good, really," she says. "Really."