Episode Report Card Pamie: B | 38 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Oh, Boy!
By Pamie | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 2003.01.14
As CuteDean goes out the back door to throw the spider very far away from the house, Rory comes home through the front door. She somehow doesn't know that CuteDean's there, so I guess he doesn't drive a car or anything. Rory asks a question that I assume she asks every single night since she was six: "Can we do pizza tonight? I've got a ton of studying to do." When do they not eat pizza? When they get burgers at Luke's? Rory asks why the back door is open. "The door is open because..." Lorelai pauses just long enough for CuteDean to come into frame as she says, "...Dean's here." They exchange awkward "Hi"s. He hands Rory the large box, and tells her it's some of her stuff. He sure has been holding on to it for some time, huh? She awkwardly thanks him. He awkwardly leaves before he gets a chance to ask Lorelai out. Lorelai tells Rory that it was a really big spider, one with a gun. She asks what Rory's feeling right now. "Nothing," Rory replies. "Not weirded out even a little?" Rory asks why she should feel weirded out. Because CuteDean and your mom almost had spider sex? Rory repeats that she's fine. Lorelai says that it'd be okay if Rory was weirded out a little. It'd be understandable. Whoever wrote this episode likes to just repeat things over and over, with much debating about one tiny thing. Lorelai reminds Rory that CuteDean was her boyfriend for two years and just about begs Rory to get back together with him. Rory leaves to go study; Lorelai says she'll order the pizza. At this point, shouldn't a pepperoni pizza just arrive at their house every day at 8:30?
Rory sits on her bed, takes a breath, and then opens the box. She closes it again. I'm hoping there's a letter in there from him, or maybe another car that he's made for her. Rory stares quietly at the closed box as we fade to commercial.
Stars Hollow. Snow. Snogging. Rory and Jess walk and kiss, making out all over the gazebo. Rory says she thinks it's fortunate that they have good teeth. They'd never be able to be so mouthy if either of them had braces. Rory -- who doesn't really like kissing anyway -- continually pulls away from Jess to say a few words. Jess just kisses whatever piece of skin is in front of his mouth. I guess, also, since they have to hit all of those marks during that long tracking shot, someone's got to be looking where they're going. Why doesn't Taylor walk by right now and say, "Get a room!" Rory complains that she can't catch her breath. He caresses her backpack and says she's not supposed to. Rory tells him that Thursday night is the Stars Hollow High Winter Carnival. Who doesn't love a good carnival on a Thursday night? "I thought we could go, meet Lane there," Rory says, smiling. "Nope," Jess immediately answers. All you Jess lovers, take note: you know he's a bit of an asshole. Right here. You saw it, right? How he just dismisses her like that? Doesn't even care about what she wants, or what would make her happy? He's just all about him, his cool-ass image, and how he thinks this town blows. He doesn't love her. He loves kissing, the way he looks, and himself. Rory says she thinks the carnival would be fun. Jess shushes her and goes back to kissing her neck. Rory explains what a carnival is, while Jess gives her a hickey. He stops for a second and says, "Rory, I'm doing some of my best work here, and you're just talking right through it." ["Uh, okay, CHANDLER." -- Wing Chun] Rory asks Jess to come to the carnival. He calls it a "stupid town thing." They start walking. Rory points out all of the stupid town things he did attend, like the basket festival and the dance contest. Jess says he only went to those things because he was trying to get Rory: "I now have you. That means I don't have to go anymore." Jerk. Rory asks if he's serious. "As a heart attack," he says. Rory says it'll be fun. Jess: "We can...have our own fun." (Read: Stars Hollow High Cherry-Popping Festival.) Rory says she can't miss the winter carnival. "Rory, come on," Jess says impatiently, kissing her cheek. Rory points out that she's never missed the festival and goes every year. Jess is making her pick him over her best friend, who has to be at the carnival because it raises money for her band. "Just go with me, please?" Rory asks. Jess "compromises" that Rory can go to the festival, play with Lane, and then "hook-up" with him later. He says that's his final offer. They make out in the middle of the street. Rory, Rory, Rory. The bad boys never love you enough. I hope you're learning that. They almost get hit by a car as Rory laughs that one day they'll get hit by a car. Instead of a smart answer, Jess just kisses her again as they walk.