Episode Report Card Daniel: D | 30 USERS: C- YOU GRADE IT Did I Shave My Chest for This?
By Daniel | Season 13 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2008.05.19
Back from commercial, Chris and DeAnna make more small talk before he tells her she's giving away three first impression roses. Inside, the guys are apparently still talking about nothing but how gorgeous DeAnna is. Which is not to say they're wrong. She strolls in to the men's cheers. Sean says he and his mullet will do anything to get a rose and stay in the house. "I am the first bachelorette ever to give out three first-impression roses," says DeAnna. Really? In the entire history of. The Bachelorette? Wow. Talk about your historic moments. It's like the moon landing, the Super Bowl commercial where that woman throws a sledgehammer into a computer with GoDaddy.com on it or whatever, and now three first-impression roses.
Jeremy the real-estate attorney gets a first-impression right off the bat. Jason snags her for some one-on-one time, much to the consternation of the sharks currently circling her, and they talk about the traveling they've done, and about family. Well, she talks about her family; he doesn't mention he has a son. It will be nice later on, when he's watching this with his son, when he has to blanket why Daddy wanted to wait an episode or two before dropping such a bombshell on her. When Ryan the virgin football player chats with her, they share a blanket, with Ryan taking most of it, prompting Spero the actor to swoop in and offer her his jacket, earning admiring "You threw him under the bus!" comments from the other guys.
Fred the lawyer from Chicago talks about relationships and says he's never cheated: "It's something I don't believe in." Other obvious beliefs he should claim: "I don't believe in murdering puppies." "I don't believe in women not being human beings." "I don't believe that Wednesday doesn't follow Tuesday." Robert the chef heads off to the kitchen to whip something up for DeAnna, while half the other men stand around staring at him like dumbasses. Luke the oyster farmer presents her with a little pearly gift (not like that), and then has to explain to her what oyster farming is.