Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B- | 2 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Summer Of Love And Hate
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.27.2005
Back in the present, VMVO tells us that, the next day, the community pool at the city park caught on fire, and it had to be closed for the rest of the summer. ["How do you burn a pool? Was it full of grappa? I don't care, really -- I'm taking that as a Clone High reference, though it would have been cooler if they'd flipped the bitch." -- Wing Chun] VMVO says that all the 09ers have pools in their back yards. That, and no one but an 09er could afford to waste that much gas. If only they hadn't burned it, they would have been doing the less fortunate a favor.
By way of transition, we see a shadow pull itself into a cannonball, and then Beaver hits the water, splashing Logan and a shirtless Dick. Dick warns Beaver not to make him go all Ordinary People, but Beaver points out that it's the older brother who drowned. Not only that, but he had bushy blond hair, so Dick had better watch it. Of course, Kyle Gallner in turn needs to watch that he doesn't grow up to be Timothy Hutton. Dick asks Logan if he's ever going to show up and school, but Logan boohoos that no one cares, and that he's practically an orphan. If no one cares about you, I don't know why you're going to the trouble of shaving your pits. It's not like the difference in your personal wind resistance is going to help you outrun a motorcycle gang. Suddenly the door to the house opens, and the bamp chicka wow wow starts up as Charisma Carpenter comes strolling into the pool area sporting a black bikini, a margarita, and a pink flowery window treatment. Dick ogles his stepmother (for that's who she is) inappropriately yet hilariously, and Logan puts a pillow over his shorts. It's too bad that children's book series wasn't named Where's Woodrow, because that would mean I just found him. Twice. We hear some banter regarding the fact that Beaver scored 400 points higher on his SAT than Dick did, and that Charisma doesn't cook. I'll just let those two statements settle which is the bigger surprise themselves. Charisma walks into the pool, and Beaver, noting that the capacity of Logan's and Dick's brains is even more diminished than usual, calls them "twisted." More in-jokes follow about Charisma's cheerleading days, although they say that the character (Kendall is her name) was a Laker girl, when Charisma actually cheered for the San Diego Chargers. Charisma looks great here, by the way. She's been horribly overtanned at times in her career, to the point where I worried that she would become a female Ralph Lauren. Not so here. Dick asks what Logan's doing that night, and in turn Logan gives him the Shocker hand gesture. I won't explain what it looks like or what it means, but I will say one thing: from the reaction of many people on the boards who were previously unfamiliar with this gesture, to say it's aptly named is like saying the censors sometimes miss things on this show. Dick tells Logan he can respect that, and they toast each other's, er, hand gestures. I hope their hands are clean. I don't need to know that Dick and Logan are the Shocker equivalent of blood brothers.
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