Episode Report Card Erin: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT When Good Sketches Go Bad
By Erin | Season 1 | Episode 15 | Aired on 03.02.2002
Offices Of A Newspaper That Probably Sucks. Lois Lame enters his office, and some chubby British girl whom we've never even seen before comes in with a cake in her hands. There's a candle on top. Willage is all, what's going on? Brit Girl is all, oh, false modesty, what a shocker. They go back and forth about this stupid article that Willage wrote. Don't care. I'm sorry, but I don't. Cutesy Newspaper Office Repartee takes place, and all I can think about is how I have to remember to buy toilet paper before my friend Lula arrives tomorrow so she's not wiping her heinie with Bounty paper towels. Like, Brit Girl's all funny and stuff, but -- who cares? Get. On. With. It.
Willage goes off to grab some paper plates, and a random delivery guy walks up and asks if Willage knows where some random office is. Willage tells him it's on the next floor, and the random delivery guy thanks him, patting him on the back. I was hoping that he'd just taped a big-ass "KICK ME" sign to Will's back, but no such luck. It's a bug. We know this because Random Delivery Guy gets into a van, puts on some headphones, and immediately picks up on the conversation between Willage and Brit Girl. D'oh!
Conference Room Of Endless Debriefings. Uncle Arvin's telling Syd, Dix, and Marshall that the footage from Moscow is remarkable. It should be, dude. If Syd had been any further inside the room, she'd have been under the goddamn table. The body of the head K-Directorate guy, Ivankoff, was recently delivered to the K-D headquarters in St. Petersburg. It arrived via a commercial freight carrier, packed in amongst a crapload of Atlantic cod. Is that supposed to be symbolic or something? If it is, then I'm missing the symbolism. Kassar, the K-D second in command (the guy whom I erroneously called "Kessna" in the last recap), hasn't been seen since the night Ivankoff was murdered. Sloane believes that Kassar is being held captive by Mr. Sark (the guy whom I erroneously called "Salk" in the last recap -- look, nobody's perfect, okay?). Sloane surmises that unless K-D delivers the Rambaldi manuscript, St. Petersburg better be expecting another Atlantic cod delivery sometime soon.
Dix wants to know if they've learned anything more about "The Man." Sloane replies that they don't know anything concrete about "The Man," but they have learned a little something about Sark. Marshall steps up to bat. He stutters and mumbles his way through some ridiculous story about My Fair Lady and Dr. Doolittle and just when I'm about to reach through the screen and slap Marshall around with a piece of raw liver, Sloane takes care of it for me by tersely telling Marshall to get on with it already. Like, the whole "Marshall's A Stuttering Fool" thing is sort of funny and all, but I'm just in NO MOOD for it right now.