Episode Report Card Erin: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT When Good Sketches Go Bad
By Erin | Season 1 | Episode 15 | Aired on 03.02.2002
Wayward Warehouse Of Keystone Kidnappers And Their Klueless Kaptive. The Ski Mask Brigade drags Lois Lame into some empty hangar or something. One of them removes Willage's hood, kicks the shit out of him, and then tosses him into a chair. The other member of the Ski Mask Brigade pulls out a mini-recorder and plays back some of the dialogue between Willage and Kenny. Willage looks seriously freaked. "Do you value your life, Mr. Tippin?" asks Ski Mask #2. "Of course I value my life," Willage gasps. Yeah, but we don't, you moron. KILL HIM.
"Really?" says Ski Mask #2. "Your actions would indicate otherwise. So I'm going to tell you what it is you are apparently dying to know." Ski Mask #2 goes on to inform Willage that Syd's fiancé, Kenny's wife, and Eloise Kurtz were all just innocent victims. Blah blah blah, does the story end there or will more innocent people die? Ski Mask #2 then shows Willage pictures of his sister, his parents, and Sydney, reciting their addresses. Willage finally tells Ski Mask #2 to stop, and gasps that he understands. We understand too, Willage. You're a jackass. KILL HIM.
Ski Mask #2 states that this will be Willage's only warning, knocks him down with one solid punch to the head, and walks off. Goddammit! KILL HIM. Gah. Ski Mask #2 walks off, with Ski Mask #1 following closely behind. Ski Mask #2 approaches the camera and whips off his mask, revealing an incredibly hot-looking Spy Daddy! Congratulations to those of you out there who knew it was Spy Daddy all along. I for one had no bloody clue. Of course, I'd had three glasses of wine by the time this scene came along. I'm amazed that I could identify Willage Idiot, and he didn't even have a fucking ski mask on.
Uncle Arvin's Treehouse O' Fun. A cadaverous-looking man enters Sloane's office and informs him that he's questioned everyone from the boat and the captain, who is a civilian, knows nothing. "Kill him," says Sloane crisply. See, I knew Sloane should have handled the Willage situation. There wouldn't be any of this "warning" crapola; Sloane woulda just whipped out a gun and shot Willage dead. Damn Spy Daddy and his stupid-ass "warnings."
Sing The Ovary Electric. The phone rings, and Syd picks it up. It's Emily calling to thank Sydney for her call the other day and to ask her over for dinner that night. Then Sydney's telling her sad stories to Agent Amorous. After determining that Syd has accepted the invitation, Vaughn hands over a small box with a paper clip inside. "This is a bug?" asks Sydney, as if she's never seen HALF of the shit that Marshall comes up with. "It's good, huh?" says Vaughn, all proud of himself. "You should see the guys who made it; it's like they've never seen sunlight." Watch it there, First Mate Forehead. You're no door prize yourself.