Episode Report Card Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT God and Chickens Speak to Shambo
By Sara M | Season 19 | Episode 12 | Aired on 12.03.2009
Shambo is sad to see her friends die, but perfectly happy to be the one in charge of cooking them. She wants to boil them. Jaison wants to rotisserie them. "Absolutely not," Shambo says; "I'll take care of the cooking." Jaison interviews that everyone else wants to have rotisserie chicken tonight, but Shambo insists on "doing something crazy." We see her stirring a pot with a chicken foot sticking out of it, which I'm sure they all find appetizing. Uh oh -- here comes Dave Ball. He sees the chicken boiling in the pot and starts to say something but Shambo immediately shuts him down with "we're not having a conversation about the soup this time everybody, because I'm in no mood. So just trust me. We'll just call it a bad case of PMS but I'm really in no mood to talk about soup today." You know, I've had PMS quite a few times in my life, and it has never caused me to ruin everyone's lunch or rendered me completely unable to entertain the ideas of other people in a group, especially when there was $1 million on the line. So it seems to me like this is less about PMS and more about Shambo being terrible at living with other people. And also a control freak. Dave Ball says that he should have a say in how the chickens are prepared, especially considering the fact that he's the reason why they have them at all. I'm pretty sure Monica just gave the viewers at home a tiny smile. She's much more fun without Laura around, isn't she? Dave Ball says that boiling a chicken for two hours will ruin it. "You have no idea what the fuck you're talking about right now and you gotta just respect that on some level," Shambo says. Actually, he doesn't have to respect that at all, Shambo. Maybe you should respect the fact that you're not the only one who has an opinion on the best way to cook a chicken. In the end, Dave Ball takes the same path of least resistance that everyone else took and lets Shambo do whatever she wants. But that's not enough for Shambo, who interviews that this is the angriest she's been the entire time she's been out here, because if her sworn enemy isn't Laura then I guess it's Dave Ball. As long as it's someone. "He really snapped my head off my body," she says. Um, no, Shambo. That's what happened to your best friends the chickens. Your head is still attached to your neck and your mullet is still attached to your head. The complete package remains intact. She continues that when Dave Ball asked her about the chickens she went "red code emergency alert. Shannon has lost her mind." The fact that she's losing her mind over someone wanting her to rotisserie chickens suggests that said mind was already gone. "He has absolutely no idea who he's picking a fight with today," she mutters to herself. You know, he really wasn't that bad to her. She was much meaner and patronizing to him than he was to her. Meanwhile, we never do find out if her boiling technique worked or not.