Episode Report Card Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT God and Chickens Speak to Shambo
By Sara M | Season 19 | Episode 12 | Aired on 12.03.2009
And finally, we have desert. It's a huge slice of apple pie and it looks nasty. But Brett wants it and bids $180, his voice cracking with excitement or possibly disuse. John bids $300 and Brett can't bid again as his one line per episode quota has already been filled. So John wins it. Probst says John has a choice now: he can either keep the slice of pie he won, or give it up for an entire pie and choose four people to get a slice each. But then he doesn't get any pie for himself. The entire pie looks even nastier than the lone slice. Did they not have any pie tins to cook that in? It looks like it's been cooked in a cake pan. Probst says John can either be selfish or "try to buy some goodwill." John turns to the rest of the group and asks what they want him to do. "Is anyone really stoked on pie?" he asks. Natalie sure is. Jaison already muttered something about how apple pie is his favorite desert. Now that John's gotten their hopes up, he decides to keep the one slice of pie for himself. "No one's going to vote me off because they didn't get a piece of apple pie," he says. Li'l Russell interviews that John made the wrong decision and he should have given the pie "to everybody," even though that wasn't an option. He could only give it to four people. Li'l Russell says he would have given the pie to Foa Foa and Shambo, but that would have been an easy decision for him because everyone knows who his alliance is. John would have had to choose between Foa Foa and Galu and one group would have been angry to lose out. Meanwhile, Li'l Russell didn't win any food at all and kind of gave away the fact that he has the immunity idol, so it's not like he fared much better.
Aiga return to camp and John sets off to search for the immunity idol. It tells him to look for a mossy rock wall and search along the base. He does, lifting up rocks and digging around for a while but finding nothing. He says Li'l Russell might have it but he's still not sure. So winning that clue has done nothing for him, while winning that slice of pie pissed everybody off. Nice job at the auction, John. Keep playing your awesome game.
Meanwhile, Shambo goes to hang out with her chickens, both of whom are in the cage despite Li'l Russell's evil plan to set them free and cause chaos. Nice how they only highlight Li'l Russell's plans when they work. If those chickens had escaped again, you know that would have been shoved down our throats for like three episodes. Shambo gently informs the chickens that they're both being eaten for lunch today. "I just wanted to let you know, okay?" she says. I'd rather not know if I was the chicken, quite frankly. "I'll talk to you in heaven when I go to heaven, okay?" Shambo concludes. Seriously? Doesn't she have better things to do and better people to speak to in heaven? Like her sister maybe? And there had better not be a bunch of chickens in heaven, waking me up early in the morning with their stupid crowing. Good thing I'm probably not going there anyway. Shambo interviews that the chickens were her only source of happiness for "the last twenty-nine days." That's quite a feat, considering that: a. it's only Day 28 and b. they didn't even win the chickens until like Day 9. Shambo claims that she and the chickens "had conversations," which basically consisted of her telling them to lay some eggs because if they didn't, they'd be killed. Well, that sounds like a fun chat for them. Also, apparently it didn't really work out so well because even though they laid eggs, they're still being eaten. So Shambo lied to her best friends. Shambo then makes chicken clucking sounds to demonstrate their response, which I believe was chicken language for "go away, crazy lady. We're only letting you talk to us because we're in a cage and thus have no choice in the matter." "I think that I brought them as much peace as they brought me and it was a win-win," Shambo says. Um, no, it wasn't. You ate them. That's definitely win-lose. With that, Mick and Li'l Russell slaughter the chickens off camera.