Episode Report Card Aaron: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Death takes a holiday
By Aaron | Season 1 | Episode 10 | Aired on 08.04.2001
At school, Claire comes up on Gabe and his Mini-Ball Friend from last week. The friend is trying to convince Gabe to go to a party, but Lauren quickly dismisses him by calling him "Peanut Testicle." Marry me, Lauren. Gabe explains that he has to head to Barstow to try to borrow money from his dad. Claire invites herself along for the drive, saying she'll "stay in, like, some creepy motel and read a Stephen King book," while he visits with his dad. Gabe relents, telling her to meet him after class the next day.
Cut to a university somewhere, and then we go inside and follow a hand holding some keys as it moves down the hallway. At first, I thought this was bizarre Addams Family reference, especially since Peanut Testicle called Claire "Morticia" in that last scene. But it turns out that there actually is a body attached to the hand, and it belongs to Dr. Feinberg. He opens his office door to find the place trashed, and "Nathaniel + Isabel" spray-painted on all his walls. Gee, I wonder who could have done that?
Cut to a spooky underwater shot of someone throwing papers into a pool. When we come up for air, we discover Billy at his parents' place, tossing all of Doctor Dork's files into the water. Hey! I think I've finally figured out why they keep letting Kathy Bates direct. This must be her house. She directed the only other episode that was set here, so it all makes sense. Anyway, Harvey and Zhora show up, and act all put-upon that their obviously insane son is having yet another breakdown. When Dad realizes that Billy has trashed Dr. Feinberg's office, the parents are relieved that Billy isn't angry at him. Creepy Jesus rants on and on about how Doctor Dork ruined Brenda, and he manages to work in the line about there being nothing wrong with him that was so misused in this week's previews. He also accuses Zhora of being the malevolent nurse from the Nathaniel and Isabel books, and she takes that particular insult pretty hard. While Harvey just walks away in annoyance, Mom sits down on the steps and wonders how her children could hate her so much.
Body Shop. David unwraps a badly burned corpse while Illeana babbles about how much she enjoys saying the phrase "sinewy neck." You gotta admit, it is kinda fun to say. "Sinewy neck." "Lauren's sinewy neck." Ahhhhhhh. Oops, sorry. Anyway, Illeana tells a story about a guy with a sinewy neck she dated, and proceeds to give a Gene Simmons-style demonstration of how talented the guy was with his tongue. Another Sex and the City shout-out, perhaps? Then she makes the mistake of asking what kind of guys David is into. "What makes you think that I like men?" he asks. "Oh, please," she replies. "Let's not play that game."
Cut to the Fisher family (sans Claire) at the dinner table. Both David and Nate agree that they should fire Illeana as soon as possible, because she's very "hard to take." Ruth, however, has other ideas. "Sometimes people are hard to take," she explains, "but only because the first side they present to you is annoying or aggressive because they're nervous. It's only after you spend some time with them that you maybe realize that there's another side to them that's worth knowing." I can't believe I'm saying this, but -- marry me, Ruth. That is so the story of my life. Anyway, Claire appears at this point, and Ruth explains that the family will be on their own for dinner the next night because of her plans with Nikolai. David says he's feeding the homeless, and Claire claims to be attending an overnight astronomy field trip to the observatory. Ruth isn't too sure about that last one, until Claire explains that David and Nate did it when they were in school. The brothers back her up, even though they clearly have no idea what she's talking about, and Nate even manages to work in a Sports Night shout-out by mentioning that Pluto is no longer a planet. Of course, if were a real Sports Night shout-out, he would have said it at least three times, but I suppose it'll have to do. I guess he's just not himself anymore since Jagr got traded to the Capitals. Incidentally, that was a Daniel shout-out, for those of you who may be wondering why the hell I keep mentioning Jaromir Jagr. If you're wondering why I keep mentioning "Marry me, Lauren," well, you obviously need to go read the rest of the recaps. Go ahead and do it now. I'll wait until you come back.