Episode Report Card Aaron: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Death takes a holiday
By Aaron | Season 1 | Episode 10 | Aired on 08.04.2001
School. Claire is waiting for Gabe, who has apparently stood her up. Aww. See, Lauren? This is why you should marry me. I'd never stand you up. In fact, I'm waiting in the bushes outside your house right now. She checks her voicemail and finds a message from Gabe apologizing for leaving without her. "So that's it, I guess," he says. "Goodbye, Claire."
Brenda's Brotherfucking Boudoir. By the way, "brotherfucker" and all its many variants is totally tm Gustave. He's mortified that he forgot to work it into his recap, so he's asked me to rectify the situation, which you'll note I've done with gusto. For some reason, Billy is doing a little plumbing around the house. That's not a brotherfucking euphemism, by the way. He's actually fixing the pipes. Billy apologizes for his file-flinging outburst, and says that he's on new meds now, so it won't be a problem anymore. "Billy, I need to know if I should be worried about you," asks Brenda, and he assures her he'll be fine. I'm laying 10,000 to 1 odds that's not true.
Ruth is in her kitchen, preparing for her date with Nikolai. She goes to pick up a small crystal goblet, but finds that it's been broken and replaced so that no one would notice. Downstairs, Nate and David are admiring Illeana's work as they examine a corpse. "My God, you could eat off that skin," says David. That's definitely an ew, too. They're upset that she does perfect work, so they have no grounds to fire her. There's even a funny bit about how Illeana had a long philosophical argument about whether she should leave the hairs in the corpse's mole. She eventually decided that "the nieces" would want to remember their aunt exactly the way she was. And really, who doesn't have an aunt with a hairy mole? I've got, like, nineteen. Ruth comes up behind them and demands an explanation for the broken goblet. Both brothers profess their innocence, and it's worth pointing out that no one even considers the possibility that it could have been Claire. That'll be important later. Sort of. Finally, they both get a gleam in their eyes and decide that it must have been Illeana.
At the street-corner soup kitchen, Keith is unpacking a box of lunches when David appears. David mentions that he volunteers with this group several times a week, and Keith bashfully admits that he just started. Aww. He's just one Big Black Cute Cop in this scene. David offers to help, and suddenly we get another DEK moment. The homeless blowjob guy from before (and incidentally, "homeless blowjob guy" is totally a career aspiration of mine) runs up and stabs David in the chest, which prompts a suddenly uniformed Keith to draw his gun and blow the guy away. Get it? "Blow"? Keith rushes to hold the bleeding David in his arms, saying that David can't die "until [they] make love one last time." Michael C. Hall delivers a hilarious "okay" in response to that, and then snaps out of it as Keith asks if he's going to help or not.