Episode Report Card Sobell: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Madame Evil's administration -- dead!
By Sobell | Season 2 | Episode 19 | Aired on 03.04.2007
Well, the nice people who make commercials want us kiss frogs and get yet more credit cards. We'll see who's more likely to get what they want.
When we get back from commercials, Madame Evil is explaining to the gently leaking Michael why she can't just hand out pardons: "There is a process and rules." I smell a new Schoolhouse rock in the making! "I'm only a pardon, not much worth regardin', unless it's for taking the fall ... " Michael isn't buying it. He tells her, "A document will be delivered for your approval, just like any other pardon. You'll sign it, and file it with the attorney general, who will submit it to the presidential record." Madame Evil offers some resistance to the idea of announcing the pardon, saying she'd rather sign the document on the QT, but Michael split-lips off to her about how, thanks to the assorted nefarious machinations of the One World Conspiracy, he has a hard time believing she will do anything if there's a paper trail. "It's so easy to lose," he sneers of the paper, adding, "I want you to go out there and announce our full pardon on live T.V."
Madame Evil scoffs, "You're insane! That is not the way things are done. This is not a vacuum! People will ask questions." Michael leans forward in the chair and snarls, "Pardon! On stage! Now!" Madame Evil looks down at Michael and imagines the headlines in the Washington Post if the tape gets out. She asks, "And how will I know you won't release the tape an hour later?" Michael grins mirthlessly before replying, "You don't. You're just going to have to take my word for it." I bet he makes a hell of a poker player. There's some more back-and-forth, and we're supposed to see how evenly matched they are in terms of strategic thinking, and Michael finally says, "Caroline, it's time. Make your choice."
Cut to Madame Evil slicing through the swinging doors and briskly giving orders to have Michael uncuffed and released. Kim does not do the palm-to-face move, but he might as well. Madame Evil says, determination lacing every syllable, "I am going to make an announcement pardoning Mr. Burrows and Mr. Scofield, and he will walk away unharmed." Kim has a better idea: just kill Michael right now. He asks, "You're going to let them walk?" Madame Evil leans in and reminds him, "I am the Commander-In-Chief and you are a corporate lackey. I'm making the call, and you have no authority."
We see Michael come out, dressed in his jacket and cap again and looking surprisingly perambulatory for someone who was smacked around for an hour by Agent Kim. Perhaps Agent Kim hits like a small child. As Michael approaches Madame Evil and Agent Kim, she turns first to Michael, then Kim, as she grits, "My men will see to it that Mr. Scofield will walk away without the interference of you and your pit bulls." The "so fuck off, you craven conspiracy weasel" is implied, but we can all see it hanging in the air, juuuuust out of reach of the FCC. Madame Evil should give lessons on how to put people in their place using only a ninth-grade vocabulary. She's very good at it. Everyone heads off, leaving Agent Kim to fulminate all by his lonesome. He does not have the same poker face Michael and Madame Evil has. (However, I suspect he's good at Clue, quite possibly because he cheats.)