Episode Report Card Sobell: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Madame Evil's administration -- dead!
By Sobell | Season 2 | Episode 19 | Aired on 03.04.2007
Madame Evil gets out and we go to the scope's-eye view. Unfortunately the best shot he can get would require taking out a little girl, and it appears that Kellerman can't bring himself to perforate a toddler as collateral damage. So we get Madame Reynolds working the front of the crowd, and it's all smiles until Michael grabs her hand and won't let go. A couple of agents promptly take him down. Kellerman looks up from the scope with a hearty eye-roll and a sigh. He prepares to leave his post. Madame Evil ducks inside the hotel and we see that she's got a note in her hand. She reads, "We have the tape."
And we have commercials. Oh, good, videogames about war, just in case we get tired of the real ones we're currently fighting.
Michael has his jacket yanked over his head so he can't see where he's going, and a bunch of Secret Service agents are marching him through the bowels of the hotel. Eventually, he's seated in the kitchen. The agents take Michael's jacket off his head and he rolls his eyes. That is sure to go over well. Agent Kim comes strolling out of the shadows, determines that it's unlikely anyone in the press saw Michael go down, then orders, "Get everyone out here." When an actual, competent agent brings up protocol, Agent Kim pitches a tiny hissy and pulls rank, so the rest of the guys soon file out.
Kim asks Michael where Linc is. Michael says, "I need to see the President." Kim: "Really? You think that's a possibility?" Unfortunately, his Patronizing Rays have met their match in Michael's Smug Shield. Michael says that Madame President will want to hear what Michael has to say. Agent Kim doubts that. Agent Kim should realize that he is, once again, on the wrong side of history here. Hasn't his series of failures over the past few episodes sunken in yet? Kim leans in and leers, "The only person you get to talk to is me." Michael's expression communicates volumes about how little he thinks of that option. Kim adds, "The only way you're going to live through the next hour is if you tell me where to find your brother."
Michael says, "Okay. He's in a safe place." Kim would like Michael to be more specific. Lips curling with contempt, Michael replies, "Specifically a place where you will never find him." Kim is delighted, because now this gives him the excuse to whip off his coat and slip into Villain Cliché #23: the tedious expository monologue outlining his bona fides in sadism. In this case, it also comes with Villain Cliché #23b: the self-consciously ironic twist. Let's listen in! Kim says, "I had the honor of attending Montfort Military Academy, whose mission is to ensure the greatness of this country, its future leadership; encouraging patriotism; building a strong moral foundation; and providing the service of men committed to the values of honor, freedom and country." Kim stops and smiles as if to say, " ... suckers." Then he adds, "But first and foremost, they taught you this," and by "this," he means, "when honor won't cut it, punch a man tied to a chair."