Episode Report Card Aaron: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Super Hole
By Aaron | Season 6 | Episode 4 | Aired on 01.25.2003
Cut to the visiting room, where Norma waits patiently for Busmalis to…good God, woman! Put on a bra, for Christ's sake! You could hurt somebody with those things! Not to mention the fact that they're hanging somewhere around knee level. That's just wrong. Anyway, Busmalis comes in and demands an explanation for why she left him at the altar and then got pregnant with another man's child. Norma immediately provides that explanation, complete with cheesy superimposed snow and the revelation that Elliot (the guy she cheated on Busmalis with) looks shockingly like the illicit love-child of Giancarlo Esposito and Christopher Lloyd. What's really scary is that he's still better than Busmalis. And just when you think things can't possibly get any worse, Norma blurts out that she thought about Agamemnon the whole time she was having sex with Gianopher. And then her left breast falls off and clanks to the floor. Sigh.
While Norma and Busmalis share a Metamucil toast to celebrate their reunion, Rebadow is downstairs in the library, reading aloud to Patti. Actual line of dialogue from this scene: "I love the timbre of your voice, Robert." And I love my mute button, Patti. After a brief interruption that features a guard calling Rebadow "loverboy," our intrepid octogenarian makes the most indecent proposal of all -- he wants to read naked to Patti in a garden, as Blake and his wife allegedly used to. Or at the very least, in a storage closet containing a few geraniums. After mentally reviewing all the disgusting things I've seen in my life (a list which includes Janice & Joey, my own femur, the body of a guy who jumped off a ten-story building, and the excreted remains of last night's quesadillas), I can safely conclude that the mental image of Rebadow reciting the collected works of William Blake with his red dragon flapping in the breeze would easily be number one with a bullet. If this guy starts showing skin, I quit. And then, of course, we move from the subcutaneous to the merely ridiculous, as Patti confesses that she has breast cancer. Now, I enjoy a good Race For The Cure just as much as the next guy whose mother has had a mastectomy, but SHUT UP, PATTI. And shut up, Automated Maudlin Character Generator, while we're at it. Not surprisingly, Rebadow doesn't take the news very well, and he stomps out of the library without a response. Do you get it? Because his grandson! Died! Of cancer! Oh, the irony! Oh, the humanity! Oh, the neck string!
The next day, Rebadow and Busmalis are folding clothes in the laundry room. Busmalis is all peppy, and even reveals that he's considering having Norma bring her baby in for a visit. After all, he explains, "Who could be jealous of a guy named Elliot?" I'm guessing a guy named "Agamemnon," but that's just me. Because it's possible that people who are deaf, dumb, and blind (as well as certain species of domesticated house pets) might not have seen this role reversal coming, Rebadow acts all extra-grumpy when he snits, "We're full of false fantasies, Agamemnon….There's nothing to be gained from your pains except more pain." Aww. Now see? Bitter Rebadow I like. Naked Rebadow, not so much.